Type: Posts; User: LanMisa
Interlude: The Setup
For those of you who haven't been playing CK2 or not in that region or not with that setup, here a short explanation of what I did and why:
The Starting Character:
GeneralHankerchief was nice enough to "offer" himself to be the star of the story. My ability to work on the Dynasty Shield was pretty limited... I don't know why.... but I found a nice wolf howling at something that I want to define as the "moon". In my opinion that's the most fitting one given the circumstances.
Since we start with exactly one province and I want to reform the Bon religion I need a good expansionist at the beginning, which explains almost all traits. From left to right:
Educational trait: He got the Level three Military education. I had set it to Level 4 initially, but that were about five additional years (if you give your character stronger traits, he starts out "older" and dies sooner to make up for it). During a test run I had managed to "upgrade" to the level 4 military education easily enough via the Warrior's Lodge and conquests and I hope to see something similar here. Since we start with only one county and our province, making up for it being hightly developed and such, doesn't have ANY buildings, which means that we need everything we can grab to increase our troop count.
Left-Handed: That's a no-brainer. It gives +15 Personal combat skill and only Christians give a $#@!, for zero(!) additional years. It's completely free. I like free stuff. So our Hankerchief will hopefully spread left-handedness in his family tree.
Quick: Another strong trait that I hope to breed for a bit, trying to find a Quick or Genius wife. Once I reform the religion I... should be able to designate an heir, I think?.... and thus I can try to have a line of rulers with a lot of bonus points in their stats. If only a few daughters get the trait I can try to breed it back in in a generation or two.
Lustful: I am aware that having too many children, especially in Gavelkind, is bad, but there are good reasons for this one. I want to reform the religion ASAP, if possible even during the first monarch's rule, and I intend to just make my children dukes and spread them around. Since we start with but a single character I'd rather not risk dying out in the second generation either....
Deceitful: Come on, this is a MAFIA site. It also gave neutral stats (I think +1 Intrigue, -1 Diplomacy) for -1 or -2 years and some interesting options in events further down the line.
Cruel: I was dissatisfied with our martial level. Cruel gave us +/- 0 years and some additional
pylonsmartial for Diplomacy. Since Diplomacy is useless right now (we won't be taking many vassals but rather take all the conquered lands for ourselves and our family) this is a fair share. It ALSO boost our personal combat stat further.
Stubborn: I'm at a loss why exactly I picked this one, but I believe it gave us some points while costing us vassal opinion (useless, as said before, at least for THIS guy) and shaving off some more years to make us younger. Also a rather usual mafia player trait to have.
Drunkard: Stories about Winerys visited by GH might or might not have inspired me to add this one to the list. It's actually QUITE detrimental, giving us some bad events and making the character quite weaker in most stats, but it ALSO makes us SOOOO much younger (over a decade I think) and I hope to get rid of this one by playing eventually.(they totally did)
Wounded: Another no-brainer for me; Wounds heal rather fast, tend to leave scars (which give a lot of bonuses, to combat as well as character opinion since you are now more "interesting") and shave off another good amount of years from your character.
The Shattered World:
As said before, I picked a Shattered World on the Count-level. That means that EVERY. SINGLE. PROVINCE. IS. INDEPENDENT. There is not a single character on even a Duke-tier level (not even Dukestar himself!), which obviously includes ourselves. To make up for this, for the first 100 years there is a special "Consolidation" Casus Belli which allows you to declare war on ANYBODY on a County-Tier level to unite the regions you are in. This is rather difficult though.... since nobody has enough troops to siege down anybody else becauce nobody has an army stronger than the other. Here is where our Martial skill comes in play, and believe me, that number is NOT going to be the final number. Since the amount of troops you can get out of your provinces strongly relates to your martial skill, in the beginning the higher number always wins. Once I have a second and/or third filled province I can snowball the region since I will basically triple everyone else's numbers....
...aside from the aforementioned Great Conquerors with their event spawned troops. Unfortunately, one of them spawned a bit to the north of me close-ish to one of the Centers of Religion that I need to conquer to reform it. So there might be an interesting war happening in the near future.
So why did I choose Shattered World? I didn't like the regular starting options. The 769 bookmark has a massively strong Buddhist Tibet controlling the region and I don't fancy internal vassal warfare to break free and gain independence. The 867 start begins with two strong regional Bon Kingdoms already... and is rather easy. Shattered World should make for some funny story and shenanigans I think and is, in my opinion, the most interesting starting option.
We start in the Himalayas. This rather secluded region isn't extremely wealthy; it has large provinces with not a lot of holdings and if you plan to become the most powerful empire ever this is NOT where you want to start (I think that India is the best choice for that). So what do we have?
Lots and Lots of Mountains
I basically plan to turn the Himalayas into a mountain fortress. This compliments very well with our religion of Bon: It's EXTREMELY bad at converting, not just because of it's abysmal religious unity, but it ALSO grants us an 80% defensive bonus when other religions attack us on our soil. Couple this with mountains to narrow flanks and give terrain boni to our troops and we should be able to fend off any attacker.
Something else that we can find (in moderation) are Silk Road provinces. In fact, my starting character OWNS a center of trade one. Once this is set up nicely we will be SWIMMING in cash, relatively speaking, and can upgrade our holdings to generate even more money (or for the times when the Chinese Empire breaks down, but more on that once it actually happens). I remember doing a short Bon run a few years back and being surprised about how fast I had maxed out my castle holding thanks to a single trade post granting me income.
Another reason for starting there is: Looting.
Yes, you heard that right. We are prime looters.
In my test setup I had managed to loot 100's of gold from nearby provinces. This has two benefits:
a) We steal their money. They don't have money. But we do
b) We kill their troops. Now they have nobody left to defend themselves
b) will be VERY useful in our upcoming wars. If you loot down a province properly (that is, siege down all holdings) you not only get a LOT of money, you also kill their levy armies AND their garrisons. Do that with some border provinces and your opponent is too crippled to fight back. You basically take their income AND slaughter their men. Sounds broken? Yes, it IS broken. And with India nearby I do think that once we expand a bit onto the other side of the mountain range we should be able to make GOOD use of that.
Bon is a strange religion. Being a former Tibetan Pagan religion it has those advantages and drawbacks:
- Enemies from different religions will have a hard time fighting us: They will suffer a LOT of attrition in our lands while we receive an 80% morale bonus whenever we fight on our own turf. Basically what happens during every Cartagena home match
- As rulers we are able to also hold temples as our personal property. Those tend to give less troops, but more tax, and at the beginning it means that we have more choices and can expand more quickly.
- It allows us to have consorts. Concubines = more children which is always good if your designated heir dies and your wife is past childbearing age....
- Every ruler can pick a leading deity to aid him. So I can give every ruler some boost in the stats I think he will need most. Nifty!
- Characters and regions with my religion are hard to convert. I don't have to hurry TOO much because of that.
- It's quite easy to become friends with Eastern Religions; every Bon ruler can get a free "Sympathy for Eastern Religions" for only 50 Karma. Interfaith marriages are thus easy and stable.
- While they cannot convert us.... we cannot convert them. I can't ask my wife or lords or even lowly commoners to adopt my faith, and converting them via priest is ALSO slower.
- Gavelkind: Whenever the ruler dies the real will be split amongst ALL male children (or amongst ALL female children, should there be only daughters). This means that your son will always suffer from a massively reduced power base.
- At some point of the game, once the other realms research a certain kind of military tech, we lose our home field advantage if we don't reform.
- Our religious unity is rock bottom, starting at... 9% at the beginning. The lower the number, the easier we get converted and the harder it is for us to convince others from following our faith.
- The longer the game goes on, the more pesky missionaries will show up at our doorsteps (kinda like Yehova's witnesses or Mormons). And countries don't take lightly of us slaughtering them on a regular basis.
Because of that reforming the religion is about the #1 priority. Once that is done.... you'll see.
A Shattered World
Listen to my story. This...may be our last chance.
There is something that your history teachers never taught you. Something like a forbidden truth. Something that is SO unbelievable that you might claim that I am fantasizing here, that I am not sane and that everything that I will tell you here is utter hogwash, rubbish and whatever British words you want to throw at my head. But there is one single truth in life that you NEED to know:
All the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies are true. They are all based on reality.
Now, you may ask, what kind of nonsense I am trying to tell you. There haven't been massive UFO sightings, no gigantic mecha robots are fighting other gigantic mecha robots, Skybeams only happen at concerts and we haven't lost half of our population to a gigantic pink monster with never explained superpowers either.
But the truth is: All of that happened. Just.... a LONG, LOOOOOONG time ago.
And there is a second lie: Thanos won. And the Avengers lost.
And there is a third lie: It all happened during the Middle Ages.
Fortunately for us, the mighty snap was rather generous. Only the unimportant people without skills, people who have never worked a day in their life and who lived off of others died. Or at least mainly them. Bankers, insurance brokers, Kings, the Clergy, Ronald Y. Stump. People like those. From a second to another, hell broke loose. Old Empires crumbled to dust. All kind of control was gone. Suddenly all regions were independent. Every small village was suddenly freed from their former yoke.
Unfortunately it also meant that all kind of control had ended. Every village, every city, every temple now fought for themselves. Trade routes stopped working. Roads that used to be protected by soldiers paid by kings - flooded by bandits. Every mile a road toll. The world was TRULY shattered.
Of course, some areas were hit worse than others. Twelve of the Avengers who had miraculously survived managed to collect money from the palaces and united their former liege's armies into strong bands. Divived upon the world they tried to reunite the lands and crown themselves kings, queens and generals, preparing to fight out who was REALLY supposed to win Infinity Wars and who would get their next solo adventure and mad royalties by the movie studios. Claiming "divine bloodlines" and "natural heritage" they were ready to profit from the general weakness of those surrounding them and shape the world to whatever image they want.
Yet there was ONE man, the legend, the hero, the one and only true saviour of mankind. Legends were later sung on him and his dynasty. His kinsmen should later emigrate to the United States, master the intricate webs of Mafia and Manipulation. The god amongst the wolves amongst the sheep, leader of the Cartaganese against the Romans and the Madrilese. The brave soul that brought to light the menace of the Lissa-Bots. The only person who could beat a Nintendo Console in a popularity contest tournament. A double bussing powerwolf flipping villager since he can even manipulate Modbot with his sheer power of mind....
...But this is a different story. THIS story is about the man to rule them all, The man to find them, The man to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them, In the Land of Nepal where the Shadows lie.
Gen'a Ra-Li's life had been a rather peaceful up until this point. Having been born under the sign of the Howling Wolf and being named by his friends and family "The General", Ra-Li had mostly been busy kicking around Sheep with his feet and lying his way out of those situations whenever he was caught doing so, earing a reputation as a cruel and masterful liar. Stubborn in his opinion to a fault he was known to fancy women and wine, the main cause of most of his troubles in life (and, as some sources suggest, also the reason he used to kick sheep around in the first place). Despite those issues he was known to be a strong fighter, using his left-handedness to his best abilities to surprise his opponents with unexpected punches, quick to act and think and usually one step ahead of his peers in all matters.
One day, after he had just taken quite a beating in a drunken brawl, The General was sitting outside the tavern when a mysterious figure approached him.
"Is this REALLY the extent of your abilities? Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Brawling with the local men and getting drunk?"
"But isn't that the life? The colour of purple gets far too stressful after some time. Living the easy life is far more relaxing and refreshing anyways."
"No, look into yourself: The farce is strong within you! I can tell! Young General, I am your father-figure!"
"So what? Even with that power within me, what shall I even do with it?"
"Don't you worry, I have a foolproof plan."
And thus the young Hankerchief left his little village to go to the local fortification of Puhrang. Using his power of the farce, that is his godtier deception skills, he convinced the ruling lord that he was his long-lost brother from a different mother and father and to abdicate on the spot. But even now, his position was one of peril: Surrounded by all sides from other lords with greedy ambitions, ruling over nothing more than a handful of villagers without any power roles, not even his staying in power was secure. And it's not like he could ask any family members for help either, since he had lost his parents in the Infinity wars:
But there were two things that he could build his plan upon. First, the region he now controlled overlooked one of the most important trading stations of the Silk road. Once trade would resume to flow the lands freely this would surely become a massive source of income for the small realm.
Second, he controlled one of the "holy centers" of the lands. The villagers, believing that everything will go well in the end, used to reassure themselves that everything was going to go "Bon". For that, they met in meeting places where they played deadly elimination games, hoping to survive yet another day, bringing spice into their lives. The province of Puhrang held one of those meeting points. And as The General knew: Who controls the Spice controls the....Tibetan plateau.
Thus he made a plan. He always had a plan. And at the end of all this planning, his Dynasty would... ah, unfortunately, time is up right now. But I will continue telling the tale of the Hankerchiefs another day.
On Top of the World - A Hankerchief AAR
Welcome to my AAR! This is an AAR of the Game Crusader Kings II, a strategy game from Paradox Interactive that play between the year 769 A.D. and 1453 A.D. This little tale follows the story of the famous Tibetan Dynasty of the Hankerchiefs who would later become known to the world as the Dominators of Mafia and the rulers over the Spanish Football. Finally we find out how it all started...
Disclaimer: GH agreed to that setup. Yes, he IS that vain. Well, all glory to him. :P
About the game:Crusader Kings II is a Character-driven Grand strategy game from Paradox Interactive. The player takes over a Character of their liking (or creates a completely new character) in the world and controls them until they die. At this point they take over another character of the same dynasty/family as long as there is still one alive and being a ruler. There is no certain "goal" to win the game; one can try to conquer the whole world, one can try to rule a small and stable Dukedom and spread their Dynasty around the world through clever marriages, others like to be a subject of a huge Empire and control it from the shadows. This AAR will... be none of them.
Setup: 769 start date, Shattered world on County-level, custom rules, custom ruler designer.
Goals: Will be revealed one by one during the game. Might add additional goals from you guys depending on how things go.
Table of Contents
LolAlonso x2. I totally understand why Fraile cannot be captain under those circumstances.
Do you think that you'll turn Bruinier into your captain one day, him being the best player in your team?
I think that the ultimate way to end this AAR is to hire LolAlonso and make him the green keeper's assistant.
Congratulations on Starpendle for winning!
And no, I'm too busy to sub at the moment.
Yeah, I think I'll go to bed and cure myself. If you end up CFD-ing: Kill me over Potato, but preferably SmartBomb over both of us. I'm a cat person and dogs are suspect.
Ties are cute and all, but while I don't have many goals in life I want to survive longer than bbt's dog at the very least.
Also, I find it rather funny that even for a second you assumed I'm actually playing to win this game.
Other thought: Since this is last man standing, what even happens in case exactly two players are left? Have the coin toss decide?
Not willing to vote for Potato
Sorry, I developed quire a strong headache... most likely migraine because of the weather...
Killing Ladd and leaving me alive smh... also death to whomever killed RE.
Angrypotato, you are my only hope left this game.
Also to either annoy or amuse Amrock. Let's entertain the hedgehog.
Since I was "fortunate" enough to survive N1 as a two man team and since I can guess where the shots are going to end up, just one last word of advise: The ONLY CORRECT way to end this game is by mutual killing of everyone during N3. You can't let this meme potential slip past you all!
Anyways, why Shad? He has a DanganRonpa avatar and thus we are basically SOULMATES!
I know that Dave might end up hitting me for posting this, but if we do lynch a single entity I'm willing to look towards bbt who was visiting two players who are both dead at this moment.
Also, yeah, Potato and RE are under my personal protection.
I'm also quite happy to see RE and Potato being alive.
Hm... from the two man teams I don't have any specific thoughts regarding Panini and Scirrus.
Now I need to make up my mind if I'm actually interested in contending that or not.
So, bbt... what did you do with your night actions? Fir someone asking for peace a lot you were quite active tonight.
But yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing the zero posters go first. It's more fun to play with people who are actually around.
It's basically Logic, just slightly different.
Hm... I need one more post to make all people on SmartBomb have 25 posts exactly. So for everyone reading this post: Congratulations, I just wasted your time.
Also, from here on out, only 25 posters are allowed to vote here.
Hm... I feel like extending my alliance offer to Dave and Quas as well. Especially Quas.