It takes a lot of courage to be honest and vulnerable about the things in one's past that have been difficult - particularly when it is things of such gravity. The fact that you can open up and be vulnerable despite everything in your past says a lot about you being a strong, good person, who has somehow managed to emerge from circumstances that would destroy or make cold and spiteful a great deal of people.

I am sorry to hear about the things that have happened to you, nobody should have to go through such experiences during their upbringing. The negative feelings you are experiencing is a normal response to a difficult life. I believe sharing and opening up is the best way to deal with hardship, so I encourage you to continue to do so, and to reach out to people around you that you trust. I truly wish all the best for you.