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  1. hearing the syrcus tower theme without the sound...

    hearing the syrcus tower theme without the sound of 24 people activating sprint+peleton at the beginning is surreal

    i'll vote soonish
  2. Game Thread https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/962531533...

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    NOTE: As part of our concerted rebranding effort,...

    NOTE: As part of our concerted rebranding effort, the word "mafia" will automatically be replaced by the word "walrus" in forum posts, to help ease the transition. We hope this doesn't cause too much confusion for people.
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    IMPORTANT: We're Rebranding

    After some long, deep reflection, we’ve decided to abandon mafia as this site’s purpose.

    In spite of all our efforts, it’s clear that getting everyone to enjoy playing mafia is a lost cause. We’re tired of people insulting each other over games. We’re tired of people feeling stressed out because they have to play all day just to keep up. We’re tired of postgame salt. We’ve tried our best as staff members to mitigate these factors, to inject just a little bit of fun into the DNA of this site, but there are only so many things under the sun, and at some point we just have to face the facts. After seven years of trying and failing, it's clear that this site is a failed experiment, and that we need a change in direction.

    It’s time we dedicated our site to an activity that people actually enjoy. That’s why, going forward, this website will be known as Walrus Universe. We’ve heard loud and clear from the community that walruses are a lot more fun than mafia, and it’s about time we listened. As such, all mafia games will be canceled effective immediately, and walruses will become the site’s main focus. The Mafia Championships will be replaced by the Walrus Championships; this change is already underway behind the scenes, and I look forward to hearing the best of what the internet has to offer musically.

    I understand this announcement may come as a shock to some of you, but we feel it’s a necessary change, and hope you’ll all one day come to realize how much it’s positively impacted your lives. This is a great day for our community - the stress of mafia is GONE, and has been replaced by unrestricted pinniped-driven joy. In a few years, we’ll wonder why we ever played mafia at all.

    Happy walrusing!

  5. #26

    Thread: Dessert Mafia

    by Ampharos
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    gonna spec

    gonna spec
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    i guess i should list off what my actual lineup...

    i guess i should list off what my actual lineup is

    Best Overall: benneh
    Best Town: staypositivefriend, Zack
    Best Wolf: LordQuas, YOLOSWAG
    Best Mechanical/Strategic: Lissa
    Most Enjoyable: Alette
    Most Dedicated: Arete
    Rising Star: cape90
    Best Moustache: t om

    i'm a bit slammed w/ other stuff atm, drawings WILL happen but it'll be a bit

    e: @Amrock @ladd
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    did you know t om is eligible i think Best...

    did you know @t om is eligible

    i think Best Moustache is a pretty good superflex

    tis @staypositivefriend's turn
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    by my calculations, every player from the...

    by my calculations, every player from the notorious Rocks Invitational has been taken thus far

    ...except one.

    taking @Alette
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    https://i.imgur.com/x7sZbze.gif taking...



    taking @YOLOSWAG

    @spf go
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    taking Cape90 Arete go

  11. Sticky: nominate bunnelby

    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnelby (#195)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ampharos (#194)
    leave my alts alone u clowns
    after nessa, the people crave another cute rep, amy.
    nominate bunnelby
  12. Sticky: leave my alts alone u clowns

    leave my alts alone u clowns
  13. Sticky: im retired

    im retired
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    https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/17599096327...

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    hey cmon for once in my life im NOT wallposting

    Quote Originally Posted by orangeandblack5 (#116)
    God is this just wallposting the thread

    Cringe
    hey cmon for once in my life im NOT wallposting
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    gimme Arete also Arete it's your turn

    gimme @Arete

    also @Arete it's your turn
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    nah i don't eat a ton. 3 finger all the way ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Haru Okumura (#106)
    Thank you for playing Ampharos Thinks! I hope you found it fun.

    Big shout outs to Ampharos for playing along while ordering what I can only assume is the Box Combo in the drive thru at 2am
    nah i don't eat a ton. 3 finger all the way

    thanks for asking me to play! i had a blast and i hope everyone else did too
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    somehow unsurprised at marcher winning i am...

    somehow unsurprised at marcher winning

    i am slightly convinced one of us is the other's evil twin

    jury's still out on which is which
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    deadass the idea of saying 69 didn't even enter...

    deadass the idea of saying 69 didn't even enter my mind

    i realize that sounds like blatant lies but yall gotta remember my brain was in serious overanalysis mode
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    that is literally exactly what happened

    Quote Originally Posted by Haru Okumura (#90)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ampharos (#87)
    Quote Originally Posted by nutella (#86)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ampharos (#85)
    my initial answer was 1500^3, which iirc is about 3.5 million

    and then i realized "wait there are going to be a lot of repeat individuals in there. mutual acquaintances etc"

    so i just said "$%#! it i'm knocking off like half of those and calling it a day"
    billion* pretty significant error there lol
    oh.

    well in my defense i did these on my phone calculator in the canes drive thru at like 2 am
    the idea of you checking your phone in the canes drive through and seeing a dumbass idea from me to answer random weird questions and being like "hell yeah lets do it" cracks me up
    that is literally exactly what happened
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    oh. well in my defense i did these on my phone...

    Quote Originally Posted by nutella (#86)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ampharos (#85)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranmilia (#80)
    I stand by my answer to this one, 3 degrees over respective lifetimes is a lot. ~1000^3.
    my initial answer was 1500^3, which iirc is about 3.5 million

    and then i realized "wait there are going to be a lot of repeat individuals in there. mutual acquaintances etc"

    so i just said "$%#! it i'm knocking off like half of those and calling it a day"
    billion* pretty significant error there lol
    oh.

    well in my defense i did these on my phone calculator in the canes drive thru at like 2 am
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    my initial answer was 1500^3, which iirc is about...

    Quote Originally Posted by Ranmilia (#80)
    I stand by my answer to this one, 3 degrees over respective lifetimes is a lot. ~1000^3.
    my initial answer was 1500^3, which iirc is about 3.5 million

    and then i realized "wait there are going to be a lot of repeat individuals in there. mutual acquaintances etc"

    so i just said "$%#! it i'm knocking off like half of those and calling it a day"
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    I'm pomu?

    Quote Originally Posted by katze (#76)
    Quote Originally Posted by nutella (#74)
    i think lendun and pretender need to touch grass
    I’m safe?
    I'm pomu?
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    ...but not as high as some of those

    ...but not as high as some of those
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    lol good luck i gave up on math for this one...

    lol good luck i gave up on math for this one after i realized that there were stupid qualifying factors i wasn't sure how to account for

    my answer is DEFINITELY too high
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    i had "an ant is probably 1/10th of an inch tall,...

    Quote Originally Posted by Haru Okumura (#61)
    Ampharos' Answer:

    2,400
    i had "an ant is probably 1/10th of an inch tall, stack em on top of each other, a giraffe is prolly like 20 feet tall"

    which, i slightly underestimated ant height and slightly overestimated giraffe height

    but it's a lot closer than i was worried it'd be so WE TAKE THOSE
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    man you don't know me well enough at ALL i'm a...

    Quote Originally Posted by katze (#57)
    My strategy was “amy doesn’t think so I shouldn’t either”
    man you don't know me well enough at ALL

    i'm a chronic overthinker about stupid bull$%#! that doesn't matter
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    ok my answer is definitely too high but not...

    ok my answer is definitely too high but not nearly as much as i feared
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    oh i should google some things real quick before...

    oh i should google some things real quick before my answer gets revealed here

    i don't remember how tall giraffes are
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    so does your current ranking in this game

    Quote Originally Posted by katze (#48)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ampharos (#47)
    Quote Originally Posted by katze (#45)
    10% woulda been my max so lolme I guess?
    you are going to lose more than 10% just from the fallout of going to jail for 10 months

    i feel like this factor was not considered by nearly enough people
    Sounds like a skill issue
    so does your current ranking in this game
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    you are going to lose more than 10% just from the...

    Quote Originally Posted by katze (#45)
    10% woulda been my max so lolme I guess?
    you are going to lose more than 10% just from the fallout of going to jail for 10 months

    i feel like this factor was not considered by nearly enough people
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    ok so my initial answer was a fair bit lower...

    Quote Originally Posted by Haru Okumura (#38)
    Ampharos' Answer:

    35
    ok so my initial answer was a fair bit lower before i sat and thought "wait how much lifetime income am i already gonna be missing out on from spending a year of my life in stasis + having to navigate the job market afterwards with a felony conviction on my record"

    i dont work in the financial sector i cant just bounce back from that sort of thing

    so it became a numbers game of "how much money would i be losing anyways just from being in prison"
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    yeah but the question specifically said "unique...

    Quote Originally Posted by Ranmilia (#35)
    Y'all know it literally tells you the number of users on the front page right? It's down in the bottom thing. I uh, put an extra digit in or something though, I have no idea what happened to my brain there.
    yeah but the question specifically said "unique users", i.e. alts don't count. and there, uh, are a lot of those
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    lol

    Quote Originally Posted by Haru Okumura (#32)
    Your answers:

    Name Cat 2
    Ezradekezra 0
    arapocalypse 0
    ranmilia 1
    Marcher Jovian 2
    katze 2
    Lendunistus 5
    billymills 5
    shubaka17 5
    ladd 7
    caffeineboost 10
    thepretender 23
    lordquas 25
    nutella 30
    chris 70
    lol
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    think of how many goddamn alts are on this website

    Quote Originally Posted by nutella (#30)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ampharos (#24)
    Quote Originally Posted by Haru Okumura (#21)
    The first question was " What is the combined age of every single person (not account) that has posted at least once on Mafia Universe?"

    Here were your answers:

    Name Cat 1
    arapocalypse 3,000
    katze 10,000
    Ezradekezra 10,341
    lordquas 11,500
    Lendunistus 20,000
    ladd 25,000
    Marcher Jovian 27,500
    chris 31,452
    Amys Answers 36,000
    thepretender 62,531
    billymills 88,887
    nutella 98,765
    shubaka17 100,000
    caffeineboost 200,000
    ranmilia 869,420
    i think that user total estimate is low tbh
    think of how many goddamn alts are on this website
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    ara if the average age of an MU user is 24 then...

    ara if the average age of an MU user is 24 then your answer contains fewer people than anni does
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    https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/45662394158...

    Quote Originally Posted by Haru Okumura (#21)
    The first question was " What is the combined age of every single person (not account) that has posted at least once on Mafia Universe?"

    Here were your answers:

    Name Cat 1
    arapocalypse 3,000
    katze 10,000
    Ezradekezra 10,341
    lordquas 11,500
    Lendunistus 20,000
    ladd 25,000
    Marcher Jovian 27,500
    chris 31,452
    Amys Answers 36,000
    thepretender 62,531
    billymills 88,887
    nutella 98,765
    shubaka17 100,000
    caffeineboost 200,000
    ranmilia 869,420
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    https://upload-os-bbs.hoyolab.com/upload/2021/07/0...

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    side note i am never attempting to draw a...

    side note i am never attempting to draw a motorcycle ever again
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    luckily, it seems i caught Lissa right as she was...

    Quote Originally Posted by Ampharos (#67)
    draft chat: amy your drawing's done right

    amy:



    picking @Lissa, watch this space later

    @Arete go
    luckily, it seems i caught @Lissa right as she was about to leave. she's hard to pin down when she's in that motorcycle seat, revving up and about to meet the open road

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    condolences on having to keep me around

    Quote Originally Posted by Zack (#79)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ampharos (#77)
    im taking @Zack to the super bowl

    again, watch this space later

    @staypositivefriend go
    congratulations on avoiding a ban from the FF server
    condolences on having to keep me around
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    im taking Zack to the super bowl again, watch...

    im taking @Zack to the super bowl

    again, watch this space later

    @staypositivefriend go
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    draft chat: amy your drawing's done right amy:...

    draft chat: amy your drawing's done right

    amy:



    picking @Lissa, watch this space later

    @Arete go
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    continuing my grand strategy of "pick good...

    continuing my grand strategy of "pick good players and figure out the teamcomp later", i'm taking @benneh



    @staypositivefriend you
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    this isn't going to work but Thingyman

    this isn't going to work but

    @Thingyman
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    yeah ok

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    spf sniped my pick so i'm sniping spf ...

    spf sniped my pick so i'm sniping spf




    @Arete glgl
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    Welcome To My Twisted Mind

    Welcome To My Twisted Mind
  49. Sticky: https://i.imgur.com/x7sZbze.gif nominating...

  50. #1094

    Thread: Current Staff

    by Ampharos
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    Sticky: hi Visorslash does setup review now

    hi @Visorslash does setup review now
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We hope you stick around!
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The Secretary may once per game choose to jumble up the police report files, causing all Cop abilities performed by players of the opposite alignment to the Secretary to be ineffective for that night.