peach tea, thank you
Type: Posts; User: lute
peach tea, thank you
in for ether
sleepy tapir. dreams about horses and other imaginary things. snores softly and soothingly. I can feel myself drifting off...
squeeee! cute baby! pink! widdle arms. round. excellent snuggler. smells like lilacs. sucks dreams out of your skull with a straw. floats merrily.
the inclusion of a top really draws attention to the fact this monkey is wearing no pants. we call this "The Donald Duck Effect." wave goodbye to the monkey hate train. we had a good run. this was cathartic. I worked some stuff out. damn dirty apes.
I want you to know that when I watched Godzilla vs. Kong I was rooting for Godzilla the entire time.
kinda clever to use "sear" as the fire word since it includes "ear" and this is the hear no evil monkey. anyway F-Tier again.
hm? what's that? putting your hand up to your ear because you hear something, you little Chimchar design reject? what you're hearing is the sound of F-Tier. it does not indicate payment of respects.
don't give me a thumbs up you son of a $%#!. the only person allowed to do that is Apoc, who I also do not like. the monkey hate train has no brakes and will continue barreling along until all its passengers forget the Snowpiercer is a metaphor for capitalist oligarchies.
broccoli monkey. I will once again refrain from burying the lede: To the best of my recollection, no grouping of Pokémon draws my ire more than the elemental monkeys. I do not like these designs. I do not like these pokes mechanically. I feel personally slighted that these slack-jawed simians represent 3.846153846% of the Unova Pokédex.
Persian II: Escape 2 Africa. fun patterns. could see it as wallpaper in a play place where you drop the kids off while you shop. do those still exist? do stores still have those? do we still have stores? do we still have kids? not if I have anything to say about it.
and so begins the saga of pokes I forgot existed. are we sure this isn't just a Glameow somebody painted? nice coat. the eyes say "oh I know about DeviantArt, and I love it." interesting tail shape. cute little feets.
fluffy. enjoys digging in sandboxes and archaeological sites. large enough to ride into battle. consumes a diet of 100% Guinness. found the remains of Jimmy Hoffa.
this I'm more okay with. it's just Dog. it's just a schnauzer. not a lot of imagination going on here. consumes a diet of 100% mutton. aged forty dog years in sixteen human minutes.
potentially controversial but I dislike the face. the fluff and stuff. pressed all flat like that, it just, it's weird. it's got the big puppy eyes so I'm not gonna say D-Tier but I just don't like imagining this. shoo. go fetch the ball and give it to someone else.
it's the eyes again but I want to address the name. the portmanteau just doesn't work. it's like a watch dog but it's a watch hog, but it's not particularly hog-like? it's more along the lines of gophers and prairie dogs, which is probably where the idea sprang from anyway, prairie dog, watch dog, same thing. prairie dog is always watching. but I also just don't like the way they decided to combine incorrect hogliness and watchful gaze. "watchhog" would be what they're going for, but instead it's "watchog" which sounds like "wachog" instead of "watch hog" and
it's the eyes. it's 100% the eyes that aren't doing it for me. truthfully the rest of the design is really boring but it's the eyes. what is it on the lookout for? agony? you've come to the right place.
that's all for today
certainly an evolution. mini kaiju. successor to the narwhal. majestic. has one tooth for each head of a crime syndicate it must sever to regain honor. likes most brands of breakfast cereal. cannot tap dance.
feisty. yellow belt in karate. little gumdrop nose. flossing. blu.
awkward otter. shyly asking for hug. wants you to see its seashell collection. reminds me a little of someone I love. blu. gently squeeze to receive purring.
so Rhyperior and Magmortar had an illegitimate child that grew up and had a child with a pig. this is that child. I just feel nothing but emptiness. actual, physical emptiness, like a hunger. eating away until there's nothing left of me. nothing left of you. nothing left of us.
this is just depraved. a hog forced into a singlet made of skin. egg shape does no favors. this design feels corporate. a focus group created this monster. do not ride high on the hog.
I won't bury the lede: this might be my least favorite starter line. I never played gen V on original hardware (come nibble at my cloaca if you're so chuffed about it, Nintendo) and used mysterious and unseemly methods to change my starter from Tepig to Litwick. I don't regret my decision. Tepig itself is a nice cutie, a steamed ham, a cheery chap. it all goes downhill from here.
definitely not a brat, so that leaves one option. haughty snake. contrarian. tastes like cilantro. crikey.
so this is interesting because I like a lot of these individual elements. little leaf hands, dainty feets, Reptaur leaves. it just doesn't come together into a complete package for me. I think a lot of mid-evolution starters have this problem, where they're trapped in awkward puberty stages and lack both the pizzazz of their final form and the cuddliness of their base.
with that business taken care of, let's move into the real gen V. this is a cutie. little limbed snake. the opposite of a legless lizard. bit of a snob. either a brat or a racist. lacks dignity to match its noble bearing.
we can all agree these ratings are objective, yeah? well not this one. this one has a story, some 'splaining to do. first off, the joke is stupid. V for gen V, got it. but for whatever reason (editor's note: the reason is OCD) it really bothers me that this mythical chump is 000 in the Unova dex, butting in before the starters and making an $%#! of itself. and my neuroses probably wouldn't activate for this at all if it was a design I really liked but I don't. it has pretty blu eyes and nothing else. an omen of things to come.
and I'm not rating all 17 palette swaps so that's gen IV done
definitely feels like a gen V design, I can see the (teehee) evolution here. consider this statement a spoiler for what's to come. confident. really into protein shakes. swears by P90X. hates winter.
alright hear me out because this design is a bit complex and cerebral: so you know hedgehogs, right? what if, stay with me, what if... hoghedge. enjoys snuggles, but frequent recipient of struggles. cute little flower to complete the ensemble.
you think the darkness is your ally? you merely adopted the darkness. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the light of day until I was a woman, and by then I found it blinding! and Darkrai's been hanging out here for like, a least a month longer than me. resident edgelord poke and I love him for the honesty. Jotaro posing but he is the Stand. a rat bastard and a slippery bogle. a monster in competitive. ask him about MCR trivia.