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Thread: Farewell

  1. ISO #1
    Too long and too gay lute's Avatar
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    Farewell

    TL;DR I'm out.

    Ahoy. I've been a moderator and head moderator of MafiaUniverse longer than anyone, but if you didn't know that, that's one of the reasons I'm leaving. Hi, people call me lute. I used to be a part of this community but now I'm really not. I haven't played a game in over a year, I barely talk in the Discord, and my contributions on the moderation end have been... minimal. I can't in good conscience justify representing the leadership of moderation on a site I'm no longer truly a part of. I had a good run. I did at least three things I'm proud of. I lack any desire to recount the things I'm not. I've forged some powerful memories and I've made a great many friends who will be abused and discarded in time. After several years and more brushes with death than I'm comfortable with, I'm leaving for good. This post represents my final indulgence, and I do hope you'll read it.

    I joined this site to play mafia and pretend to be someone I'm not. The ploy worked. Too well. I was accepted. I made friends. I didn't deserve to, but I did. Slowly, I revealed who I truly was. It was too late by then. First impressions had stuck. I was still accepted. This was less than ideal, because it wasn't part of the plan. I had no intention of sticking around. Yet something about the community kept reeling me back in. Eventually, I relented. MU was my home. Even as everyone who had made it a home left, one by one, it was my home.

    I became a moderator because the community had given me something very special and important, and I wanted to give back. I rose to the rank of head moderator because I was the only one willing. I plummeted further than I could've imagined. I rose again because my conviction was renewed. I fell again, this time confident I wouldn't rise. I did. It was a mistake. From the get-go it was a mistake. I won't devalue the work I and others with me did but my heart was never in it. It was a matter of necessity, not passion. I am scared for the future. Of the world and equally lofty things, but of this site as well. It's this fear that has kept me here, straining against the current, flotsam and kelp attempting to help. The anxiety gnaws at me. I do not leave because my work is done; I leave because my work is never done. I can only piteously crawl towards the vanishing horizon of the finish line for so long until there's nothing left to give. That, and I'm not stable enough to justify holding any position of relative power. This lesson was taught twice and never retained.

    The reason I feel the need to say all this is because I'm a self-absorbed, vainglorious cretin with a penchant for melodrama. Additionally, I want it to serve as a lesson. In what, I can't rightly say. But there must be something important in here. There must be. It was a waste otherwise. Askthepizzaguy earned himself a farewell address, so the precedent is there to be capitalized upon. I recall his being largely optimistic. That's not my brand of farewell. Ill omens and a ritual sacrifice are how I choose to shuffle off this mafia coil. In many ways I consider Pizza's departure to be the signal of an era's finale, with the following being my era. I suppose that era's over now too. Good riddance. I was never fond of it. So much slipped through our fingers. I fear for the coming era. Not to say I expect the team to suddenly do a worse job now that I'm gone, but my pessimism has always been a bit of a weight.

    My advice, to the staff in the future, to the community of the future, to the people of the future, is to demand better. We live in a world of taking. Do not settle for the minimum, from others or yourself. When the bar begins to lower, inertia takes over. Allow for the unacceptable to continue for long enough, and it becomes the new acceptable. Complacent adherence to the status quo is the foundation upon which evil paves the path to triumph. There is no shame in having standards. There is shame in allowing an aversion to conflict drive away those that belong to make room for those that do not. Failing to take a stand does not make you a moderate, it makes you a coward. If this sounds unreasonably lofty for the farewell address of some broad on an internet yelling board, that's only because I see this site as so much more.

    This is the greatest forum mafia site to ever exist. I mean it. It didn't get this far effortlessly, without sacrifice, and without immense failure. It's going to need more of all of that to keep going. It's on you to provide. The simplest way you can do that is to have fun. Have fun and spread the fun. The victor is they who imbue the game with the most spirit. Joy. A community must be more than a club house. To thrive in the dying world of the internet forum means to be not a venue, but a union, a place of acceptance and laughs and love. Every action taken by moderation should reflect this philosophy and foster an environment where this ideal is realized. It is my hope that I was able to, once in a while, accomplish this. If not as a moderator, then as a community member. I want you to laugh. I want you to cry. I want you to feel alive.

    I would like to give a final thank you to the community that accepted me, and for better or worse, made me lower my guard and venture outside my shell. I wouldn't be so arrogant as to suggest I left a permanent mark on this site, but this site left a permanent mark upon me. We did not always see eye to eye, but we always saw face to face, and for that I am grateful. I regret everything, and I would take none of it back.

    Thank this post for a chance to win a free iPod Nano. It is unlikely you will hear from me again. Plaudite, acta est fabula.



    vzbcr dbosc lygpx budxh pldhs ipwjk ivzsp mozee qwgyh lkjcb wawov yjzsp odcci vwraj bllcr oeabm otjqq libaj az
    [1:32 AM] Makaze: You stepped down. I assume because you gave up on improving things.
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  2. ISO #2
    Low Hanging Fruit LordQuas's Avatar Game Manager
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    thanks for serving @lute

    the end of an era indeed, the average height of staff just dropped by at least a few inches

    (seriously though, thanks)
    :wiwe

  3. ISO #3
    Soul Reader Virtuoso's Avatar
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    Thank you for your service, @lute. We will truly miss you.
    "Virtuoso, you wifomy piece of chocolate
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  4. ISO #4
    what are you, stupid? Ampharos's Avatar Administrator
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    I've thought a lot about what sort of words to put in this space.

    lute's been someone I admired from afar starting with my literal first game on Mafia Universe, and I was ecstatic when I was able to chat with her on Discord and slowly crack through that crustacean outer shell. Whether she thinks it's a good idea or not, she's someone I've always looked up to (both figuratively and literally) and has done some fantastic things for the site, and modchat was always more enjoyable for me when she was around and invested in it.

    Thank you so much for everything you've done for the site, and for me. Enjoy not having to stress about $%#! like this anymore.
    DM Mixolydia#8907 on Discord with any suggestions/comments/complaints/unwarranted compliments (you'll need to friend request me first)
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  5. ISO #5
    Billy GOAT Gruff billymills's Avatar
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    glgl lute
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  6. ISO #6
    Bandwagoner gigglesparklefluffy's Avatar
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    thank you for being here, lute

    I'm real glad I met you
    Last edited by gigglesparklefluffy; December 30th, 2019 at 10:22 PM.

  7. ISO #7
    Most Likely Asleep Secondhand Revenant's Avatar
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    Thanks Lute for being here when you were. Never did end up playing as much mafia with you as I had hoped we might at times, didn't get to wolf together more often. But the times we had together on this site are something I'm fond of and I'm really happy to have gotten to know you more while you were here. Thanks for everything and hope you enjoy your time away from the site
    Come wayward souls,
    Who wander through the darkness,
    There is a light for the lost and the meek.

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    I'm not accusing you of meta

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  8. ISO #8
    Everyone's mom...except Roro__b's dyachei's Avatar Head Moderator
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    Lute, you were one of the players I always wished I had played more games with. I truly enjoyed your presence here and will miss it greatly. I'm very sad to see you go.
    Yes I am offcially more annoying than navi. Misson accomplished. - Fable

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  9. ISO #9
    ༼ つ ;-; ༽つ give town rand Dp101's Avatar Moderator
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    Don't really know what I can say to do justice to this, so all I'll say is thanks, for everything you have done.

  10. ISO #10
    ༼ つ ;-; ༽つ give smith another day mhsmith0's Avatar Game Manager
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    Sorry to see you go @lute, you will be missed. Hope to see you hanging around again one day even if it’s just chilling, but understood if not. Take care and I hope the next phase brings more happiness and less stress to you.
    Life is simply unfair... don't you think?
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  11. ISO #11
    Soul Reader Tsunami's Avatar
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    I don’t think I’ve ever actually talked to you, lute, but when I think of mu, your name is one of the names that pops into my head.

    You were in the first game I read on mu, and were one of the main people who made me interested in sticking around. Your ama and Halloween spooktacular threads are some of my favorite on the site because they’re both fun and interesting, like you.

    Thanks for everything you’ve done here! Wishing you all the best in the next chapters of your life.

  12. ISO #12
    Season 5 Champion GeneralHankerchief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lute (#1)
    I became a moderator because the community had given me something very special and important, and I wanted to give back. I rose to the rank of head moderator because I was the only one willing. I plummeted further than I could've imagined. I rose again because my conviction was renewed. I fell again, this time confident I wouldn't rise. I did. It was a mistake. From the get-go it was a mistake. I won't devalue the work I and others with me did but my heart was never in it. It was a matter of necessity, not passion. I am scared for the future. Of the world and equally lofty things, but of this site as well. It's this fear that has kept me here, straining against the current, flotsam and kelp attempting to help. The anxiety gnaws at me. I do not leave because my work is done; I leave because my work is never done. I can only piteously crawl towards the vanishing horizon of the finish line for so long until there's nothing left to give. That, and I'm not stable enough to justify holding any position of relative power. This lesson was taught twice and never retained.
    There's probably not much of a chance you ever actually read this (I get the sense that your final post was a one-way communication), and even less of a chance that you agree with what I'm about to say, but the bolded is pretty much the only thing in your lovely farewell that I take issue with. The work is never done, yes, I know this firsthand, but the work doesn't have to be your work.

    You've taken three separate tours of duty on a website that doesn't really have a unified culture in the first place by original design, populated entirely by people who like to argue in their spare time. You've lasted longer in this job, cumulatively, than anyone, and regardless of your own personal feelings on the matter you've done very well at it. The site will continue, and it will be good, and a big part of both of these facts is due to your legacy. You've more than earned the rest.

    Happy trails and best wishes.
    Last edited by GeneralHankerchief; December 30th, 2019 at 11:27 PM.
    Lenny - Today at 10:08 AM
    Atpg sometimes the paragraphs you write are pretty good


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  13. ISO #13
    Hello Lute

    First

    "I've forged some powerful memories and I've made a great many friends who will be abused and discarded in time."

    This is beautiful.

    Second, we don't know each other (I'm guessing) I only clicked on this after leaving my homesite where I sifted through a few games I missed and came to the conclusion several people made alt accounts to cheat. I doubt that has anything to do with your farewell, just I understand obsession and failure. Both my parents passed away while I played mafia there, only to later learn that just like life, those games may have been rigged, and thus I lost while losing.

    Reading your farewell, I think I would have liked to have met you. You are a wonderful writer. Whatever you do, I hope it includes this. I won't thank you, could care less about materialistic stuff. I am here to attain something different. If you helped clear the way for that in your endeavors, then I will tell you thank you and you'd just have to trust me when I say I mean it. I know that's hard to do in Mafia, all I can do is assure you that I'm not a wolf right now.

    Best of luck

    -J

  14. ISO #14
    τη καλλίστη Makaze's Avatar Administrator
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    You will be welcome back any time you feel like being the village elder.
    I hold you in the highest regard, my friends.


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    I still remember that damned game we first play together back in 2016

    I will miss you dearest friend, more than I've been missing you ever before
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  16. ISO #16
    Spaceship, spaceship, SPACESHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Logic's Avatar Discord Moderator
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    I don't think I ever played a game with you, lute, but I really wish we could have.

    You will be missed by many, most especially by we colored cretins of staff.
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  17. ISO #17
    GOAT Tier El-ahrairah's Avatar
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    Take care, lute; it's a scary world out there. Remember to strike first while your enemies' backs are turned, and always keep the kitten-canon fully loaded.
    "All the world will be your enemy, Prince With A Thousand Enemies"

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  18. ISO #18
    Hype! Arapocalypse's Avatar Discord Moderator
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    Message a ghost at Arapocalypse#0834!

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  19. ISO #19
    Wants It More LanMisa's Avatar
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    Dear Lute, if you ever happen to come back here to read this: I wish you the very best, I hope that you will always win your fights, especially those with these inner demons none of us can ever truly control, that looking back the time spent here was one of enjoyment and fulfillment and not one of dread, that wherever your heart will lead you welcomes you with open arms and makes you feel right at home...

    ...And take good care of yourself. Stay healthy.

  20. ISO #20
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    bye
    ? ?_? ??

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    Soul Reader 112's Avatar
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  22. ISO #22
    JAMES MCCLOWN Frog's Avatar
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    @lute

    I wish you nothing but the best. Your presence has always been a pillar of justice and light here. I hope you know you are loved by everyone here and your mark has been nothing but positive. cheers mate

  23. ISO #23
    Wants It More Spartan057's Avatar
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    Thanks for all you've done and wish you the best for the future.


  24. ISO #24
    Galaxy Brain Phighter's Avatar
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    I'm convinced one of the three things you're proud of was the epic fakeclaim you pulled that saved both of our asses that one time.

    Take care, see you around
    Quote Originally Posted by Ampharos (#233)
    So here's the deal, Champ.

    1. Phighter's $%#!ing with you.


  25. ISO #25
    Special Agent tbh Boquise's Avatar Moderator
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    I have been thinking of what to write here. Most of my thoughts have been a bit too sappy and probably too long too. And I don't really know what to say.

    Basically, thank you Lute for everything. For your hard work, for your presence, for your witty posts. For putting me in a trial by fire and making me feel welcome when I joined the mod team and did not know anyone on the team (and almost no one on the site). The former part might sound bad, but it made me feel trusted and like I belonged there. I hope the new roaring twenties will be your decade to roar and be happy and to dance. You deserve that. See you later alligator tbh

    Reeee-ing into the void and flailing around like a magikarp since 2013

  26. ISO #26
    Yeah I know this will get deleted. It's Benji so I know that, and it probably won't reach Lute but it's been on my mind so much that I felt like I had to type this out.

    Lute at the end of 2018 when you asked if there was anything you could do for me and uphold my selfban for my mental illness, it meant the world to me because at the time I wasn't sure if anyone in the world cared if I died. Back then I stopped taking all of my medicine and I made a vow that I wouldn't try to live anymore. During a suicide attempt I thought back to your message and some of the others I sent, it was a part of the reason I made it through.

    As of today I'm taking SSRIs again, I gave up on them years ago and I only gave them another chance because of MU and some of the people I meant like SR and you. I thought I was beyond help and too far gone in 2019, today I look at the calendar and see 2020, I didn't think I was going to see this year. Recently I've been living with more happiness than I thought was possible. I just signed up for college and plan on getting a bio chem degree to study medication so I can help people like you helped me.

    It wasn't only you that saved me, but your effort inspired me to work harder everyday, and to continue living so I can repay that to others. Because of who I was you may not have wanted me to survive it all, but I'm going to do what I can to be someone good.

    Thanks Lute.

  27. ISO #27
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    The powers that be on this site don't like me.

    But I love you all.

    Lute, thank you for your service.

    Your humble fellow traveller,
    Zork

  28. ISO #28
    Guess I'll be the lone voice in the wilderness that cries huzzah!

    I'm hoping that this change also brings about a change in the amount of nepotism that happens here.

    Some people get away with murder while others are punished for the flimsiest of excuses. It's been rather demoralizing at times.

    Sometimes, a nudge is all that's necessary. Throwing unsightly bull$%#! in a member's control panel over something trifling is petty and childish.

    Sometimes, that's also why alts are made, so what does the epeen flexing of $%#!ting up a member's control panel actually accomplish aside from a bloated member list?

    But that's all whatever. Brown-nosers, feel free to $%#! at me all you want about this post. I won't be back to this thread, anyway.

    PS: I lied.
    Last edited by TwiszTed; January 14th, 2020 at 03:36 AM.

  29. ISO #29
    Low Hanging Fruit LordQuas's Avatar Game Manager
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwiszTed (#28)
    Guess I'll be the lone voice in the wilderness that cries huzzah!

    I'm hoping that this change also brings about a change in the amount of nepotism that happens here.

    Some people get away with murder while others are punished for the flimsiest of excuses. It's been rather demoralizing at times.

    Sometimes, a nudge is all that's necessary. Throwing unsightly bull$%#! in a member's control panel over something trifling is petty and childish.

    Sometimes, that's also why alts are made, so what does the epeen flexing of $%#!ting up a member's control panel actually accomplish aside from a bloated member list?

    But that's all whatever. Brown-nosers, feel free to $%#! at me all you want about this post. I won't be back to this thread, anyway.
    :wiwe

  30. ISO #30
    τη καλλίστη Makaze's Avatar Administrator
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    Imagine making alts because your control panel has section to help you keep track of your warnings and you think it looks ugly.
    Last edited by Makaze; January 8th, 2020 at 12:42 AM.
    I hold you in the highest regard, my friends.


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  31. ISO #31
    Responsible for #8 Mistyx's Avatar
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    you know it’s a little bit rude to hijack someone’s leaving thread to complain about moderation
    Quote Originally Posted by Chemist1422 (#6)
    mfw you accidentally sell your soul for a modpeek
    Quote Originally Posted by Lads (#305)
    God is real, and she is haunting my dreams tonight.

  32. ISO #32
    K it's now my turn to be mod

  33. ISO #33
    Quote Originally Posted by Chemist1422 (#31)
    you know it’s a little bit rude to hijack someone’s leaving thread to complain about moderation
    But not unexpected, I'm sure.

    Especially after: https://www.mafiauniverse.com/forums...=1#post3047523

  34. ISO #34
    Low Hanging Fruit LordQuas's Avatar Game Manager
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwiszTed (#33)
    Quote Originally Posted by Chemist1422 (#31)
    you know it’s a little bit rude to hijack someone’s leaving thread to complain about moderation
    But not unexpected, I'm sure.

    Especially after: https://www.mafiauniverse.com/forums...=1#post3047523
    w-w-what
    :wiwe

  35. ISO #35
    GOAT Tier metsnfins's Avatar
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    jk great job always lute, and good luck

  36. ISO #36
    GOAT Tier Moonious's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
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    Here
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    Hey Lute, and bye Lute

    It brings me much sadness to see you go, and what you've done for MU was wonderful. You've always been a genuine person and while you may be a mysterious 82 (now even older) witch doctor crab thing, you've been honest and upfront about many aspects of you in the ways that matter, and this farewell message is only one example of this. We are very grateful and appreciate you. Whatever you claim about your intentions and perspective on leadership, you've been fair, responsible, and able to take control of situations with empathy. As a leader, you earned our respect, and as a community member, you earned our love.

    This farewell message reads heavy, and I hope you are okay. Whatever you decide, do it with confidence, and good things will happen.

    Take care, Lute!

    Moonious

  37. ISO #37
    Soul Reader Marshmallow Marshall's Avatar
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    Aug 2018
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    At the Lynch Train's station
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    AKA
    EyehAsherEyeh; The Dark Lord
    Pronouns
    he/him/his/his/himself
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    Lute, I haven't played with you much, but you were in my first games here and were part of the people who made me stick around. I'm sure that you had the same effect for a lot of people. You are far from being a failure for this site, and provided good support for the site for a long time. As staff from another site, I can tell you that by helping the community, you have done good things. Not just to computers or to a bunch of lies in an online game, but to people. People having fun together, people being alive, as you said. That's what's important, and if you enjoyed doing it, you did what you were supposed to do (and more). Best of luck away from MU, if you ever read this message.

    Edit : And people complaining about the moderation publicly in a thread where a good moderator says they're leaving should think about the volunteer work of this place's staff that has been going on for years. Not aiming at anyone in particular...
    Last edited by Marshmallow Marshall; January 29th, 2020 at 02:15 AM.
    I lynch scums. Don't take any offense at it, for I mean absolutely none by it. You all matter. We all matter.


    Quote Originally Posted by Logic (#979)
    Marshal Mathers, AKA The Real Slim Shady, AKA Eminem, AKA Marsh AKA Marshmellow AKA Marshall AKA Marshmellow Marshall.

  38. ISO #38
    Wants It More NotACop's Avatar
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    Jun 2015
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    PokerNet
    All I see is a long excuse for not finishing your walrus, Lute.
    "I've voted off more than 9,000 fellow townies in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to vote last in F3 and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." ~ NAC Jordan

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