Signup Deadline: 03/20/2021
It’s the one you’ve all been waiting four.
What is Walrus? It's a forum game where you submit songs to me according to various categories and I rank and score them based on how much I like them.
To join, simply sign up in this thread (or drop me a DM at BrainpanSonata#0280). Submissions must be done by PM/DM, including YouTube, Soundcloud, Bandcamp, or Vimeo links to your picks. One by one, categories will be revealed in the official walrus Discord server and the respective threads. Aim for the highest overall score, or play along for fun and the love of music.
Scores will be logged and tracked via Google spreadsheet. Scoring is done on a 0.0-10.0 points range based on how much I enjoy a song and how well it fits the respective category. My scoring system runs along the same lines as MyAnimeList: 5s are boring, 6s are okay, 7s are good, 8s are great, 9s are awesome, and if you get a 4 or below ya dun goofed. Will anyone send me a 10 point masterpiece? We’ll see…
This walrus has special mechanics:
1) Four On The Floor
Four On The Floor is a case-by-case moratorium designed to reduce pandering and add another layer of challenge to the game. Basically, on top of the regular banlist, each category (with one exception) has its own list of four artists/bands that are banned from being subbed to that specific category.
Example: If I had a Celt Punk category, my Four On The Floor would be Flogging Molly, The Rumjacks, Dropkick Murphys, and The Bollox. Those bands could be subbed to other cats, but not to Celt Punk.
There is also a General Four On The Floor for this walrus that replaces the usual Rule 10 banlist.
In any category, do not send me: Green Day, Talking Heads, My Chemical Romance, or Muse.
2) Variable Walrus
This is a variable walrus, like Weebrus was. Think of it this way: decide which 4 of the 12 categories you don’t want to sub to, and then send submissions for the remaining 8.
- Any categories you select and then fail to submit for will automatically be scored 0. You can send submissions at any point up to the day before the respective category’s scheduled reveal. In some cases, depending on my schedule, I may be lenient enough to accept submissions up to the T-minus 12 hours mark. I will actively check in with players who have unfilled submissions to help prevent catfails.
- Any submissions which don't fit the qualifying requirements of their respective category will automatically be scored 0. For example, if I had a category about guitars and you subbed an acapella song, you would catfail.
- You will need to change your submission if it's a song I submitted to a previous walrus.
- You will need to change your submission if it's a song I used as an example, header, or outro in this walrus or my previous walruses. Yes, this does mean Watsky subs are more likely to get stamped Return To Sender. (And yes, this is why Watsky isn’t in the General Four On The Floor.)
- Tracking for rules 3 and 4 is solely the responsibility of the host. I will crosscheck all submissions and let you know if something needs to be changed. I will also let you know of any technical errors which might require you or me to change the links to your submissions.
- You will need to change your submission if I can't bring myself to listen to it in its entirety even once. This pertains not just to bands previously found in the banlist in Rule 10, but also to anything pitch shifted/chipmunked, played on a kazoo/vuvuzela/air horn, and/or painfully out of tune. If you value scoring high on the leaderboard, then this is not the hill you die on.
- If you send me a 240p or 144p vid and a better version is available, I reserve the right to switch to the better version. I may inform you privately if I do so, but I’m likely to forget. I also have a habit of doing this with music videos that vary noticeably from the official audio.
- If two or more players submit the same song for a category, the second (and third and so on) person to submit the song will be given the option to change their submission. If they decide to stick with it, it will be given a single score and the players involved will tie in that round's rankings. This type of tie will be expressed in dense ranking (eg. 1223) rather than standard competition ranking (eg. 1224).
- You can change your submissions at your leisure. As with late submissions, song changes will be accepted at any point up to the day before the respective category’s reveal. Unlike Rule 1, I will not accept T-12 hour sub swaps because getting in a song that may do better or worse isn’t as urgent as avoiding a 0.
- This is where I usually put my banlist. I’m not banning those six bands in this walrus, because the theme has its own banlist. Just know that if you use this as an excuse to submit something I have long since professed to hate, you’re gonna have a bad time.
Getcher Game On
Martin’s not the only gamer who walruses. So send me video game music. This category’s Four On The Floor is a list of verboten video game franchises, including spinoff games and covers/remixes. Covers and remixes of vgm from games outside of the 4OTF are acceptable, though.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: Pokemon, Final Fantasy, The Legend of Zelda, and Jet Set Radio
Gerudo Valley (25th Anniversary Orchestral Version) by Koji Kondo
Funky Dealer by Hideki Naganuma
Undella Town (Summer) by Shota Kageyama
Hunter’s Chance by Nobuo Uematsu
Send me a song by a progressive rock and/or progressive metal band. I will be checking qualifiers against the genres listed on the respective bands’ Wikipedia pages.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: Tool, Gojira, Pink Floyd, and System Of A Down
Third Eye by Tool
Time by Pink Floyd
Mind by SOAD
Flying Whales by Gojira
It’s A Major Award!
Send me a song by a band or solo artist who has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Please note that one of the General 4OTF bands is listed among the inductees.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: Nine Inch Nails, David Bowie, Nirvana, and Rush
Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle by Nirvana
Red Barchetta by Rush
Right Where It Belongs by Nine Inch Nails
Lazarus by David Bowie
Let’s Kick The Beat!
I’ve done guitars before and I’ve done all sorts of unusual instruments, too. This time, send me a song with noticeable emphasis on percussion. Whether it’s a killer drum solo, an interesting addition to the instruments, or just a pounding rhythm that stays in your head for days, give me something where the beat is the boss.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: Rush, Tool, Foo Fighters, and Led Zeppelin
Xanadu by Rush
Moby $%#! (Live 1972 Remastered) by Led Zeppelin
Ticks & Leeches by Tool
Low by Foo Fighters
This Category Wears Flannel
Send me a song by a grunge band. Like with Proggers, qualifiers will be checked against the respective bands’ Wikipedia pages.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Soundgarden, and Stone Temple Pilots
Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pilots
Come As You Are by Nirvana
Rooster by Alice in Chains
Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden
We covered so many decades in the Weebrus, but there’s one timely itch left that I want to scratch. Send me a song that was first released in the 1960s. Remastered versions are allowed for this category as long as the original release date checks out.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, The Zombies, and Cream
She’s Not There by The Zombies
All Along The Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix
White Room by Cream
I Want You (She’s So Heavy) by The Beatles
That’s Just Super
Send me songs from supergroups. According to Wikipedia, a supergroup is a musical performing group whose members have successful solo careers, are members of other groups, or are well known in other musical professions.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: Them Crooked Vultures, Audioslave, I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME, and The Dead Weather
Do It All The Time by iDKHOW
I Cut Like A Buffalo by The Dead Weather
Mind Eraser, No Chaser by Them Crooked Vultures
Like A Stone by Audioslave
On Broadway Redux
As you might know, I’m a sucker for musicals. But there are a lot of newer ones that I’ve missed out on. So send me a song from a musical that was first performed in the 2010s. Please note that American Idiot is a musical created by Green Day and as such falls under the purveyance of the General 4OTF.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: Beetlejuice, Hamilton, The Addams Family, and The Book of Mormon
Just Around The Corner by Bebe Neuwirth
The World Was Wide Enough by Leslie Odom, Jr., Lin-Manuel Miranda & Company
The Whole “Being Dead” Thing by Alex Brightman & Company
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream by Andrew Rannells & Company
Yes, Bloody did something like this first. But I’ve been casually careless about my hearing ever since I was blasting my cd player in the back of the bus in my high school days. So help me play chicken with my future hearing $%#! by sending me songs that have screaming, yelling, shouting, growling, etc. in them.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: Modest Mouse, AWOLNATION, System of a Down, and We Came As Romans
Mayday!!! Fiesta Fever (Live in Studio) by AWOLNATION
We Are The Reasons by We Came As Romans
Beach Side Property by Modest Mouse
Holy Mountains by SOAD
Shuffle and Deal
On weekdays, I spend my mornings listening to music on Pandora. And I’ve noticed that there are a few bands which are so prevalent in my shuffle that not hearing at least one of their songs per day is unusual. So send me a song that gets frequent play in whichever streaming service or portable media player you use. If you don’t have a streaming service or portable media player, you can try sending me a song from a mixlist on your YouTube account.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: Santigold, Queen, Nirvana, and The Strokes
You Only Live Once by The Strokes
Chasing Shadows by Santigold
Radio Ga Ga by Queen
Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana
What Do You Mean?
Some lyrics make you go “damn, that’s deep”, others make you go “huhwhaa?” Send me a song that uses lots of metaphors, similes, allegories, idioms, etc. Whether or not I understand the lyrics doesn’t matter. Just go ham on the poetry or something like that.
This category’s Four On The Floor are: Beck, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Shins, and Aesop Rock
Daylight by Aesop Rock
Loser by Beck
Dark Necessities by RCHP
New Slang by The Shins
4/10, Needs More Fours
This is a free category with a twist: you can send in anything you want (barring the banlist and the General 4OTF), so long as your sub has some sort of connection to the number four. Please include your reasoning with your sub; I’ll be very lenient with qualifiers so long as it has some sort of four involved, even if it’s just the timestamp. Multiple instances of four will not affect your score, but you can try to stack fours if you wish.
Standing in the Shadows of Love by The Four Tops
4 Minutes by Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
4th Dimensional Transition by MGMT (double stack)
Kickstart My Heart Remix by Dance With The Dead (triple stack)
A: My abbreviation of choice for Four On The Floor.
Q: First time subber here. Are you really “that guy who likes everything”?
A: Yes I am, imaginary stranger! And my ridiculously high scores reflect that. Lots of ties, everyone dying by degrees, etc. etc. I do have some obvious favorites… which I’ve desperately tried to quash with the new mechanic so that I can add even more bands to the ever growing list of music I like. That and I rather like not having to pull my hair out over getting yet. Another. Green Day sub.
Q: Why is it so bad to get 14 Green Day subs in a walrus?
A: Sometimes I burn out on bands through overexposure. Tantric used to be on the banlist because of this, and Sara Bareilles and Muse both had moratoriums on them in a previous walrus because of oversubbing.
Q: I get why Green Day and Muse are in your General 4OTF, but why are MCR and Talking Heads there?
A: I pretty much know their discographies up, down, and sideways. If I hadn’t chosen them for the General 4OTF, they’d be in the Shuffle and Deal 4OTF.
Q: What if I ignore your crummy ban rule?
A: Don’t do that.
A: Well, then, hope you enjoy getting big fat 0s for not following the rules. You are a spoilsport and we will post cruel memes about you on the internet.
Q: With so many favorites in your musical tastes, should it be more than four?
A: Not really, and it doesn’t need to be. Four On The Floor covers a lot of would be panders. Plus it doubles as a pun, which is always a plus for me. A double layered pun, even, when you consider the floor in question is the cutting room floor.
Q: Can I sub for all twelve categories?
A: Sure, but I'll make you decide which eight get ranked and scored. And I'm not doing bonus headers this time.
Q: There a lot of long songs in your examples... how's your stamina?
A: Pretty good. I can sit through a thirty minute song without too much fuss. I've even accepted an entire album as a submission before, though I'd definitely prefer to judge individual songs instead. As per Rule 6, it has to be something I can listen to in its entirety in a single sitting (with or without repeat plays). So ten hour extended mixes are right out.
Q: No Final Fantasy means no Kingdom Hearts music, right?
A: I’m not familiar with Kingdom Hearts music (apart from a couple of well-known Utada Hikaru songs), so I looked into it. A Date with Fate (remix of a Crisis Core theme) and One Winged Angel are the only FF tracks listed in the Kingdom Hearts OSTs. I’ll allow any other KH track.
While we’re on the subject, I should mention that Cadence of Hyrule is off limits because Zelda. And don’t forget to ask if something falls under Rule 3, since I’ve subbed vgm to some walruses before.
Q: Why does Rule 3 even exist, anyway?
A: It stands to reason that I wouldn’t sub something I didn’t like unless a category specifically called for that. Ergo, it also stands to reason that someone could feasibly game the system by sending me back my own bops if there wasn’t a rule against that.
Q: But you submitted trash to So-and-so’s walrus…
Q: What about those other Hall of Fame awards, like Lifetime Achievement?
A: Between non-performing industry workers, overlap from the performers list, individual songs that got inducted, and session artists tied to too many bands to name, it’s a mixed bag of “I’d rather stick to the table I linked”.
Q: Post-grunge and nu metal are pretty grungy, can I sub those for grunge?
A: Unfortunately, no. I wanted to include those genres in the cat, but I scrapped that idea when I got choice paralysis while picking out the 4OTF. Same reason category 7 is just supergroups instead of all kinds of side projects.
Q: Do revivals count for On Broadway Redux?
A: The category specifies that I’m looking for newer musicals instead of revivals.
Q: What if I don’t even have a YouTube account to get a mixlist from?
A: I’d recommend including that category in your four skips, then.
Q: How do I tell a metaphor from an allegory?
A: Here’s a helpful guide from The Free Dictionary. Be sure to click the links in the article if you want a closer look at each individual grammar lesson.
Q: Is there anything that would be too much of a stretch for 4/10?
A: Trying to pass off a non-four number as a four through numerology and/or math. That or a symbolic interpretation of the number that can’t be verified at all because you made it up instead of doing research. If you take a symbolic approach to the cat, make it something I can easily google.
Q. What if I don’t want to do fancy symbolism?
A. It’s fine if you don’t. There are plenty of other fourtastic options that would qualify. Four example, the double and triple stack in the 4/10 examples imply that titles and band names with either four letters or four words count for qualifiers.
Q: You’ve posted header/outro lists for your walruses before. Do you have one for this one?
A: Nope! I’m pulling all my examples, headers, and outros from the 4OTF lists for their respective categories. No need to worry about subbing a header, because this time it’s baked into the format. (Btw, each category will have two headers and two outros.)
Q: Okay, but 4/10 doesn’t have that part of the format.
A: I'll use songs from my General 4OTF for that reveal.
- earl [Smogon]
- PassTheSaltDude [Smogon]
- Sultan of Skook [Smogon]
- Da Letter El [Smogon]
- Laurel [Smogon]
- KarmaDope [Mafia Universe]
- C7 [Smogon]
- termi [Smogon]
- Lectrys [Smogon]
- hollowkatt [Mafia Universe]
- MyNameIsNothing [Kongregate]
- nutella [Mafia Universe]
- Schiavetto [Mafia Universe]
- Logic [Mafia Universe]
- shubaka17 [Smogon]
- Aladyyn [Smogon]
- You could be here!
Since I’m leaning in on the theme, let’s say you have 4 weeks to sign up. That’s 28 days before signups close.