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Thread: Mental Health Awareness Month - Discussion Thread

  1. ISO #101
    Hype! Arapocalypse's Avatar Discord Moderator
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    Heads up that @nutella's in charge of the submission form now, and I probably won't be involved in things here going forward!!

    Turns out attempting to do stuff while trying to help handle things in the busiest champs phase isn't a great idea!
    Message a ghost at Arapocalypse#0834!

    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Be Boq
    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Wait for the principal in the cafeteria
    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Be offered coffee by the peeps there
    [9:08 AM] boq, bbt's boss: "Nice"
    [9:08 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Grab a random mug. Enjoy your coffee. Notice that it says "principal's mug" on it

  2. ISO #102
    1610 roro__b's Avatar Moderator
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    Here's our suggestion for reworking the concept, with post from 1st of May rewritten.

    The main focus going on will be:

    - Information sharing
    - Planned events (movie night, games, etc)
    - Sharing stories/arts etc, that people choose to submit through us.


    Hopefully these changes will work better and... let's just make this a month where we connect with each other, and feel a little bit more !!!!. The initiative to have a parallel thread not moderator driven is awesome too, and ideally be helpful for the people who want something less official. The wider an audience that can get something out of any of this, the better off our community will be, and that's more important than anything.


    Quote Originally Posted by part to be updated, with everything else staying the same
    We will be removing the buddy system completely. Issue with the buddy system is that some have signed up and seem to have an idea of what it is about, and some have raised heavy criticism against it voicing that we've been insinuating there's a lot more to it than intended, and all in all, it's just not going to work. It's been rewritten and reworded, and stated over and over what it is about. we considered changing the name to find a friend or something just to connect some more people, but ultimately it's not going to work, and it's better this way. We have a few that signed up that I'll contact personally during the upcoming.. day or something. And to all of these people, I'm personally very sorry, for what implications this will have on you.

    Story submission will still be possible to do through the forms, if you wish to do so either with name or anonymously - but posting it yourself elsewhere - such as in the discussion thread, or other forum threads on other member's initiative is also allowed, of course.

    If you are interested in submitting a "story", either named or anonymously or have any other questions, you can do so through the following form: https://forms.gle/WFkBAN9FDqLVznWL7

    As of current, arapocalypse, nutella and roro__b have access to the form.

    If you are ever in need of help, whether it is a crisis, or if you are uncertain how to take the first step, here is a collection of helpful numbers and links, and other useful resources. These are USA-focused, but don't hesitate to reach out if you would want any other countries added, and we will do that.
    Last edited by Arapocalypse; May 3rd, 2021 at 06:01 PM. Reason: Edited for clarity!
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  3. ISO #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arapocalypse (#101)
    Heads up that @nutella's in charge of the submission form now, and I probably won't be involved in things here going forward!!

    Turns out attempting to do stuff while trying to help handle things in the busiest champs phase isn't a great idea!
    Yeah so this lasted about two seconds before I got back into things, so ignore this I guess!!!!!
    Message a ghost at Arapocalypse#0834!

    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Be Boq
    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Wait for the principal in the cafeteria
    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Be offered coffee by the peeps there
    [9:08 AM] boq, bbt's boss: "Nice"
    [9:08 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Grab a random mug. Enjoy your coffee. Notice that it says "principal's mug" on it

  4. ISO #104
    Soul Reader Syn's Avatar
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    Replacing the buddy system with group events/activities is a good idea.

    One thing I think might be valuable is to have a dedicated section for this here on the forum, both the member-directed venting thread and all MHM-related content from staff. Like a Mafia event gets, except, well, not Mafia. Event info and stories can be posted there instead of being split into Announcements and General Discussion.

    I know for myself that I have MU's Discord server muted because of how active it is and I can't stand seeing the red dot all the time, so events being posted there and only there will be missed entirely by me. I suspect there are others for which this is true too.

    (Does MU Discord use the Apollo bot for events?)

  5. ISO #105
    Connoisseur of Spice nutella's Avatar Discord Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Syn (#104)
    Replacing the buddy system with group events/activities is a good idea.

    One thing I think might be valuable is to have a dedicated section for this here on the forum, both the member-directed venting thread and all MHM-related content from staff. Like a Mafia event gets, except, well, not Mafia. Event info and stories can be posted there instead of being split into Announcements and General Discussion.

    I know for myself that I have MU's Discord server muted because of how active it is and I can't stand seeing the red dot all the time, so events being posted there and only there will be missed entirely by me. I suspect there are others for which this is true too.

    (Does MU Discord use the Apollo bot for events?)
    I actually think having a thread in general discussion makes it more accessible/normalized etc than having it all shoved off to one side, and means people can engage with it on their own volition without it seeming like a "special" thing?

    And sure we could look into getting Apollo set up, right now we just have the ping lists for things like movies/amongus/turbos
    Last edited by nutella; May 3rd, 2021 at 05:50 PM.
    avatar art credit to chardonnay/bland

  6. ISO #106
    Hype! Arapocalypse's Avatar Discord Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Syn (#104)
    Replacing the buddy system with group events/activities is a good idea.

    One thing I think might be valuable is to have a dedicated section for this here on the forum, both the member-directed venting thread and all MHM-related content from staff. Like a Mafia event gets, except, well, not Mafia. Event info and stories can be posted there instead of being split into Announcements and General Discussion.

    I know for myself that I have MU's Discord server muted because of how active it is and I can't stand seeing the red dot all the time, so events being posted there and only there will be missed entirely by me. I suspect there are others for which this is true too.

    (Does MU Discord use the Apollo bot for events?)
    To clarify, group events/activities/sharing of info were intended to be more of the main focus from the start; this is simply cutting the buddy system/putting greater emphasis on the other stuff!!

    That could certainly be considered/discussed; I personally am not sure how much interest there would be for it to work well, but other input on it would be appreciated!!!

    It does not at the moment, no!!
    Message a ghost at Arapocalypse#0834!

    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Be Boq
    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Wait for the principal in the cafeteria
    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Be offered coffee by the peeps there
    [9:08 AM] boq, bbt's boss: "Nice"
    [9:08 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Grab a random mug. Enjoy your coffee. Notice that it says "principal's mug" on it

  7. ISO #107
    Soul Reader Syn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nutella (#105)
    Quote Originally Posted by Syn (#104)
    Replacing the buddy system with group events/activities is a good idea.

    One thing I think might be valuable is to have a dedicated section for this here on the forum, both the member-directed venting thread and all MHM-related content from staff. Like a Mafia event gets, except, well, not Mafia. Event info and stories can be posted there instead of being split into Announcements and General Discussion.

    I know for myself that I have MU's Discord server muted because of how active it is and I can't stand seeing the red dot all the time, so events being posted there and only there will be missed entirely by me. I suspect there are others for which this is true too.

    (Does MU Discord use the Apollo bot for events?)
    I actually think having a thread in general discussion makes it more accessible/normalized etc than having it all shoved off to one side, and means people can engage with it on their own volition without it seeming like a "special" thing?

    And sure we could look into getting Apollo set up, right now we just have the ping lists for things like movies/amongus/turbos
    Fair enough. I was thinking of a hypothetical future where there were a bunch of events being organized at the same time, and having all of that mingling with the normal GD threads could push one or the other down outside most's eye line.

    Then again, GD isn't super active to begin with, so maybe it's fine.

  8. ISO #108
    I never understood the appeal of the buddy system in the first place tbh, my first thought on seeing it was that being paired up with some random person sounds like a recipe for lots of anxiety and awkwardness. maybe it has appeal to more extroverted people? i dunno

  9. ISO #109
    Hype! Arapocalypse's Avatar Discord Moderator
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    Posts in the other thread have been updated with Dobby's post, which has had minor changes!!!
    Message a ghost at Arapocalypse#0834!

    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Be Boq
    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Wait for the principal in the cafeteria
    [9:07 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Be offered coffee by the peeps there
    [9:08 AM] boq, bbt's boss: "Nice"
    [9:08 AM] boq, bbt's boss: Grab a random mug. Enjoy your coffee. Notice that it says "principal's mug" on it

  10. ISO #110
    Billy GOAT Gruff billymills's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zack (#108)
    I never understood the appeal of the buddy system in the first place tbh, my first thought on seeing it was that being paired up with some random person sounds like a recipe for lots of anxiety and awkwardness. maybe it has appeal to more extroverted people? i dunno
    I'd be interested in demographic differences between therapists and therapy seekers.

    I wouldn't be surprised if therapists are a ton more extroverted than those they help.
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    Unfortunately I am compelled to say that billymills is 100% correct.

  11. ISO #111
    Soul Reader Syn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by billymills (#110)
    Quote Originally Posted by Zack (#108)
    I never understood the appeal of the buddy system in the first place tbh, my first thought on seeing it was that being paired up with some random person sounds like a recipe for lots of anxiety and awkwardness. maybe it has appeal to more extroverted people? i dunno
    I'd be interested in demographic differences between therapists and therapy seekers.

    I wouldn't be surprised if therapists are a ton more extroverted than those they help.
    This is something I can answer, anecdotally (i.e., no studies to back me up). I used to volunteer with a chat therapy module which separated as venters and listeners. I was involved with vetting and improving dialogue with venters.

    In the short term, sociable people flocked to listening, but quickly "washed out." Almost all long-term listeners were reserved. This was not a licensed setting, however, and purely operated on a volunteer basis, so take that with a grain of salt.

  12. ISO #112
    Thread Analyst Object's Avatar
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    It's very unlikely, but every now and then someone will say something that really helps someone else.

    Just providing the opportunity for that chance collision to happen for someone is a nice enough service I think.

  13. ISO #113
    Responsible for #8 Mistyx's Avatar Penalty Box
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    Quote Originally Posted by roro__b (#102)
    Sharing stories/arts etc, that people choose to submit through us.
    fwiw this is what i was trying to get at earlier - there doesn't seem to be much of a reason for this sort of thing to be submitted through staff, instead of just having people post what they're comfortable with posting

    they've been doing it anyway in both this thread and manasi's so i don't see a reason to have it be something processed through staff
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  14. ISO #114
    Most Likely Asleep Secondhand Revenant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mistyx (#113)
    Quote Originally Posted by roro__b (#102)
    Sharing stories/arts etc, that people choose to submit through us.
    fwiw this is what i was trying to get at earlier - there doesn't seem to be much of a reason for this sort of thing to be submitted through staff, instead of just having people post what they're comfortable with posting

    they've been doing it anyway in both this thread and manasi's so i don't see a reason to have it be something processed through staff
    Think the only reason that might matter is the anonymous option
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  15. ISO #115
    1610 roro__b's Avatar Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mistyx (#113)
    Quote Originally Posted by roro__b (#102)
    Sharing stories/arts etc, that people choose to submit through us.
    fwiw this is what i was trying to get at earlier - there doesn't seem to be much of a reason for this sort of thing to be submitted through staff, instead of just having people post what they're comfortable with posting

    they've been doing it anyway in both this thread and manasi's so i don't see a reason to have it be something processed through staff
    Maybe not, but the option is there for people who want to share their story without posting it themselves, it's an extra "security line" that exists, should one want it - as well as the option to do it anonymously if one prefers that, as SR mentioned. If people don't submit through there, we will just go on without that part of the project. I understand the sentiment and we've taken steps to move away from the clinical feeling, because the feedback does make sense, but having things like these under organised forms and near formal can sometimes instill security, which some people appreciate, if that makes sense. Offering this platform, as well as manasi's thread doesn't hurt imo, and it's all working towards the purpose of this month. These discussions, the thread there, it's all good things imo.
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  16. ISO #116
    1610 roro__b's Avatar Moderator
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  17. ISO #117
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    I hope the community building exercises go well. I would be surprised if I could participate given timezone. I've been pretty poor at doing community events as both a runner and as a participant cause it's not something I have self assurance in, but MU struggles to have a coherent community and it leads to a ragtag bundle of city states. Having community events would go a long way to making things feel like a community and not a platform to play mafia. Which helps people a lot. Being around when I was in voice with people I considered friends and pals - still do, even though I'm not talking them much - helps mentally, and if that community spirit comes back again but on a much larger scale, that's good.

    For the rest of it, I can't talk about. Half it is cause I have privilege about what I'd like to talk about and quite frankly, the other half I could put into words is incredibly toxic. I'll leave this here as a footnote, note that it's been conveyed otherwise and I don't want to go into it again, and that it took me a while to open the reply box for this thread.

  18. ISO #118
    Ruler of the Universe Thingyman's Avatar Administrator
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    As many of you know I'm not around much these days, but I saw this thread and wanted to share a few thoughts and my own story.

    With regards to this initiative
    I personally want to commend and thank roro and co. for this initiative.

    I also want to thank everyone else who has participated in this thread for offering their feedback, whether negative, positive or in between, because what's clear - to me, at least - is that everyone cares. And that's the best starting point this can possibly have. In the midst of whatever disagreements there might be, I hope we can have that as our connecting guideline - we all care.

    To be clear, I'm not involved with the project, nor do I have any education within the field of mental health, so all of this is just my subjective opinion as a fellow MU community member. But in my view, I do agree it's important to raise awareness about mental health. I have already learned new things from reading people's replies to this thread, and it has inspired me to share my own story for the first time.

    Of course, I'm sure there are many opinions on how awareness should be raised, whether it should be raised on a forum meant for playing games, and finally how mental health and all that relates to this should even be handled. It's impossible to come to an agreement on all these matters for a plethora of reasons, but it does seem like together we're coming up with some compromises, improvements and ideas that could potentially do some good, if even just a little bit.

    I think that's an amazing second connecting guideline - being together in this discussion of mental health. So I think it's a great idea that Manasi also created a thread that was more of a "this is the community talking and being together about this in whatever way, shape or form they feel comfortable with".

    My own story
    I saw that these stories were spoilered in the other thread so as to avoid potential triggers, so I'll do the same here.

    I've done my best to structure the story in a logical fashion, but it's a bit difficult. Here goes.

    My depression
    My father died to suicide at the age of 48 in October 2019.

    This sent me into a depression of my own. I had suicidal thoughts, I blamed myself for my father's death, I didn't sleep well, I had a hard time focusing on simple tasks, I was no longer able to properly evaluate how I was coming across in everyday interactions (I was afraid that what I said was hurtful or "wrong" and needed to consult with others to make sure that wasn't the case), and my emotions were raw.

    I clearly remember how every negative thing that happened in this period led me into a negative spiral of thoughts centering around my father's death and from there leading back to suicidal thoughts. It could be a discussion with my wife, or it could just be a slightly negative post or comment whether online or IRL.

    Then there were of course also all the things that reminded me of my father. I got my interest in movies, tv shows and gaming from him, so it was hardly possible to do any of my usual hobbies without being reminded of him and thus reentering the negative spiral mentioned above. I also recall tearing up when I saw the trailer to Star Wars: Rise of the Skywalker. My father had introduced me to Star Wars as a kid, and now we wouldn't get to the see the conclusion together. After having watched the movie, I felt less sad about this.

    I didn't tell any of my friends about my father's death for the first couple of months. It was just too difficult to broach the subject. I think partly because I didn't know how to, and I think partly because I've always felt uncomfortable about having others listen to my troubles. I think I've just always felt that "this is something that's happening to me, so why should I make others uncomfortable?". (Which is a general pattern in my life, a need to make others like me and to completely shy away from all conflicts or unpleasant interactions.)

    I was back to work within a week, and we went through with our "moving in party" that we'd planned for the next week as well where I managed to keep up appearances. Of course, my wife and our families knew as did my colleagues. In hindsight, I was a complete fool for not taking a leave of absence from my work (the therapist had cleared me to take a "leave of sickness" or whatever you'd call it) and cancelling our events, but as the "responsible" person that I am I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

    Therapy
    It's difficult to say how long the depression lasted, but I do know that it was very important that I talked to someone about it. Something that my wife had to convince me to do, so I finally went to see a therapist.

    The first time, it didn't really do much.

    The second time was the first time where I began to have "aha moments". Even though I consider myself very self-aware, there were just connections that I'd never made before when reflecting back upon my life. And it wasn't that the therapist claimed that these connections existed or anything, but the conversation led me to make these "conclusions" on my own, so to say.

    The third time the unimaginable happened. I cried for only the second time in... My adult life? The first time had happened only weeks prior on the first night of the day where I learned about my father's death.

    The impact of my father's death
    The fact that it was suicide hit me hard.

    At first, when my mom called to tell me, she hadn't mentioned suicide. So I assumed it had something to do with his heart, as he had suffered a mild heart attack a couple of years before.

    I went over to their house and there were two policemen outside. I asked them what had happened and they said suicide. And it just completely changed everything for me. If the world had seemed dark before this, it was pitch black now.

    That part might read strange to someone who hasn't experienced something similar (and maybe still some of those?), but... What was before a state of shock mixed with grief, I imagine, was now an endless flow of emotions and thoughts all centered around why he'd "choose to leave us", "what could I have done to prevent this", and the like.

    I remember obsessing over how his final day was. Without being too direct, I wanted as many details as I could get from my mother and my 3 siblings still living at home. I searched through his browser history to see if there was anything - there was not. He didn't leave a note - I made sure to check everywhere I could. I wanted to know the approximate time of death, but the police said they don't check for that when it's suicide, which infuriated me. I wanted to access his phone and his email, but I didn't have any luck. How can there not be any way to break into an iPhone and see its contents if you don't have the password?

    Like I already mentioned, I initially blamed myself a lot, then I was angry with my father, and I'm sure that cycle repeated a few times.

    Some backstory
    My father wasn't a good man. For those curious, uttering this was what broke me at the therapy session. Honestly, in some ways, it's better that he isn't here. I won't delve deeper into this particular part of the story.

    So why did/does it hurt so much? Because I loved him and I miss him still. Because I know he loved me, I know he loved my siblings, and despite a strained relationship I know he loved my mother. In spite of all his shortcomings, I've never doubted any of this.

    Also, I sympathize with his story, and I feel very sad at how his life turned out. He lost his father too soon. He lost his brother (my uncle) to an OD, and he lost his multi handicapped son (my brother) in 2006-2008. I was there, so I know it wasn't easy to have a multi handicapped son, but he loved him endlessly and was always there for him. On top of that, his wife (my mom) suffers from several mental health issues as well as physical ailments that might very well lead to her dying within the next few years. Then add to this his dwindling group of friends, his beforementioned heart attack, and then there's another huge part which I also won't get into publicly.

    Suffice to say, though I am leaving many things out here, it wasn't difficult for me to piece together an interpretation of how he came to die by suicide.

    "Moral of the story" - talking helped me
    Despite all of these things, I had no idea he suffered from depression, much less suicidal thoughts. Looking back, it seems like absolute stupidity on my part. But I swear, his death was a complete shock to me and everyone else in his life. A complete shock.

    I've found myself wondering... If I was a therapist or psychiatrist, would I have known? Maybe? Probably? But the fact is I had no idea.

    And the main reason I had no idea was because he never shared it. He was a manly man who had gotten into many brawls in his life, and he certainly never talked about his feelings, unless they were of an angry or accusatory nature.

    One might think this would leave me to absolving myself of my sins of not realizing his situation. How could I know it if he didn't share it with me? This is partly the case, and partly not. I still found (and find) myself thinking back to conversations that I only remember tidbits of, reanalyzing and reinterpreting the things he said. Were there clues? Was he ever reaching out in his own way, and I just didn't pick up on it?

    But there is nothing to do about it. And I've come to terms with that.

    Better yet, I decided to learn from my father's mistake. Despite having had the very same inclination of not wanting to talk to anyone about it, I caved and did what my wife pleaded me to do many times - to please talk to someone about it. That step can be very hard, trust me, I know, so that is why I'm a fan of this initiative. Having that push was immensely helpful for me, so if it can do the same for even just one other soul out there, this is all worth it.

    And I've heard the feedback and I know maybe it won't help everyone. But I hope we can all agree that it's something worth exploring for everyone in a similar boat.

    Where am I today?
    I now no longer suffer from depression, thankfully. But I can still have minor "relapses", and certain stressors can amplify that.

    The past couple of months have been worse than the months before. Which is probably not too strange, considering the stressors of being unemployed (I finally quit my job last year to focus on my mental health as well as my family), moving into and renovating a new house, failing my driver's license test a couple of times, and worrying about my mother and my siblings. A combination of stressors that on bad days can make me feel like a failed man.

    And watching Bridgerton, funnily enough, also made me realize that I have an apparently common fear of dying at a young age caused by one's own father dying at a young age. This was very heightened at the time of my depression, but fortunately a bit more fleeting now.

    But! Today I earned my driver's license, we're making good progress on the house, I am doing my best to be there for my family, and hopefully the job will come along soon.

    I feel good right at this moment. But it's okay to feel bad. For me, talking helps. If anyone ever wants to talk, you can hit me up here on Discord. I'm not as active these days, but I'll reply at some point
    Last edited by Thingyman; Yesterday at 11:21 AM.

  19. ISO #119
    Special Agent tbh Boquise's Avatar
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    even tho I am $%#! at it, it makes me happy that I still remember certain chords and tunes on my ukulele, and I enjoy painting precisely because I am terrible at it so no pressure from myself. It is nice to see that something can be created out of my hands regardless of my person.

    Work makes me unable to do these things atm. So what I am eyeing here with most interest, and what I think would be a positive thing regardless of month, are the planned events.

    What's proposed now are movie night and games. Those are cool. But I hope there are more creative events too that doesn't really have a short time span. A workshop with some suggested prompts, maybe. I do not think I will participate either way, but I think opportunities to be creative is a way to make people connect, stimulate your brain and basically kill time that would otherwise being spent watching a wall. Walruses and Paint hydras are fine but you mostly draw//submit your thing and then play the waiting game.

    I hope it would be helpful, or fun at least.
    Reeee-ing into the void and flailing around like a magikarp since 2013

  20. ISO #120
    Connoisseur of Spice nutella's Avatar Discord Moderator
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    thank you for sharing, thingy


    boq -- that's a great idea, a multi-media open-ended creative prompt sort of thing would be awesome
    avatar art credit to chardonnay/bland

  21. ISO #121
    Soul Reader Syn's Avatar
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    I have experience running writing prompts, though no experience trying to convert it to something enjoyable for a non-writing audience.

    Think I'll post something in GD about it.

  22. ISO #122
    Soul Reader Syn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Syn (#121)
    I have experience running writing prompts, though no experience trying to convert it to something enjoyable for a non-writing audience.

    Think I'll post something in GD about it.
    https://www.mafiauniverse.com/forums...-Brainstorming

  23. ISO #123
    Wants It More Sett's Avatar
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    For movie suggestions... I think we should watch Shrek!

  24. ISO #124
    alien shapeshifter Hally's Avatar Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sett (#123)
    For movie suggestions... I think we should watch Shrek!
    i was skeptical of this suggestion at first, now i’m a believer
    Quote Originally Posted by litten
    hally you have a Wowee addicfion
    Quote Originally Posted by quas
    Name the wowee dog hally
    Quote Originally Posted by staypositivefriend (#19)
    tfw i cant mindmeld with hally this game
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#15)
    hi im hally
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#26)
    im a big nerd something something gravity falls
    Quote Originally Posted by ran
    How To Tell If Your Hally Is An Alien Shapeshifter:
    - Apply moderate but steady pressure d1 and observe their reaction.
    - If your Hally is genuine, you will notice a distinct morphing of their facial features into an "anime" or "chibi" style resembling the kaomoji (〃>_<;〃), their arms will turn into fingerless drumsticks and begin rapidly vibrating up and down, and they will emit various phrases such as "no bulli!" and "give me space!" and "but why!"
    - On the other hand, if your Hally remains in a photorealistic human form and responds calmly with phrases like "That's unfortunate, but I hope we can work together!" and changes the subject, you have an alien shapeshifter on your hands and should quickly excuse yourself and break the glass on the nearest eod flamethrower.
    Quote Originally Posted by lute (#50)
    182. Bellossom



    Bellossom, Bubbles, and @Hally. doing a little flower dance. travel agent who doesn't work on commission. knows she's pretty but loves being reminded. tries to maintain a vegetable garden but isn't very good at it.

    A-Tier.
    Quote Originally Posted by jump
    dear professor

    i need an extension on this assignment if thats ok thank you so much or i can send you what i have already idk

    kind regards
    hally
    Quote Originally Posted by Ace Marvel (#375)
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#348)
    ##Vote Hally

    insert image of hally's profile picture inside of an ice cube saying "hi I'm hally", indicating that hally is "frozen" by being stuck in ice in the image, and also "frozen" in the sense of the game in that they are struggling to or afraid to post content.
    like this?
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#673)


    katze made this, now hally has 2 talk to me
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#4059)

  25. ISO #125
    1610 roro__b's Avatar Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hally (#124)
    Quote Originally Posted by Sett (#123)
    For movie suggestions... I think we should watch Shrek!
    i was skeptical of this suggestion at first, now i’m a believer
    GOTTEM!

    today's post is the following - with Wisdom sharing their story
    1610

  26. ISO #126
    alien shapeshifter Hally's Avatar Moderator
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    thanks for sharing @Wisdom! i always appreciate your positive energy
    Quote Originally Posted by litten
    hally you have a Wowee addicfion
    Quote Originally Posted by quas
    Name the wowee dog hally
    Quote Originally Posted by staypositivefriend (#19)
    tfw i cant mindmeld with hally this game
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#15)
    hi im hally
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#26)
    im a big nerd something something gravity falls
    Quote Originally Posted by ran
    How To Tell If Your Hally Is An Alien Shapeshifter:
    - Apply moderate but steady pressure d1 and observe their reaction.
    - If your Hally is genuine, you will notice a distinct morphing of their facial features into an "anime" or "chibi" style resembling the kaomoji (〃>_<;〃), their arms will turn into fingerless drumsticks and begin rapidly vibrating up and down, and they will emit various phrases such as "no bulli!" and "give me space!" and "but why!"
    - On the other hand, if your Hally remains in a photorealistic human form and responds calmly with phrases like "That's unfortunate, but I hope we can work together!" and changes the subject, you have an alien shapeshifter on your hands and should quickly excuse yourself and break the glass on the nearest eod flamethrower.
    Quote Originally Posted by lute (#50)
    182. Bellossom



    Bellossom, Bubbles, and @Hally. doing a little flower dance. travel agent who doesn't work on commission. knows she's pretty but loves being reminded. tries to maintain a vegetable garden but isn't very good at it.

    A-Tier.
    Quote Originally Posted by jump
    dear professor

    i need an extension on this assignment if thats ok thank you so much or i can send you what i have already idk

    kind regards
    hally
    Quote Originally Posted by Ace Marvel (#375)
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#348)
    ##Vote Hally

    insert image of hally's profile picture inside of an ice cube saying "hi I'm hally", indicating that hally is "frozen" by being stuck in ice in the image, and also "frozen" in the sense of the game in that they are struggling to or afraid to post content.
    like this?
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#673)


    katze made this, now hally has 2 talk to me
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#4059)

  27. ISO #127
    Galaxy Brain Shad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roro__b (#100)
    Quote Originally Posted by Shad (#99)
    Quote Originally Posted by MUental Health Awareness (#14)
    And at least some might realise that "manning up" maybe should be left somewhere in the past, and that, talking about "feelings" or other mental health issues maybe should be just as normalised as telling someone you are anemic, or diabetic? Some that maybe didn't do this before?
    I wrote a really long post today that I won't be sharing with anyone but my trash bin, but this is kind of gross.

    I feel like everyone's problems can be fixed if they just follow The Solution™ is wokeland's equivalent to boomer demands to "man up".

    I'm happy for the x% of people who benefit from buddy systems and public storytelling and #metooing. I really am.

    A lot of us aren't that lucky, and slapping ourselves out of stupors is a vastly more functional solution than breaking down into a self-pity session every time something gets triggered. Yeah, we shouldn't feel unable to do the latter when we need to. The people here who've suffered my rants know who they are, and I'm eternally grateful that they tolerated me through an especially rough time. But I wouldn't be able to hold a job if I wallowed in that state 24/7. I sometimes feel like modern society encourages people to be broken for the sake of having something to fix.

    You don't have to be tone-deaf to other people's needs to encourage exercises in self-motivation. You don't have to abandon empathy to develop willpower. I always feel like I'm backed into this corner where my issues don't count because I take a tough it out approach to them but if I didn't take a tough it out approach to them I'd never be able to crawl out of bed in the morning, and being constantly reminded that I'm doing it wrong is so $%#!ing tilting.
    Thanks for this Shad. I don't know if it's any excuse or help, but I come from a similar background, and part of the manning up culture and keep it together is what made me break down, several of the times, and I see it on the daily through work. I realise that in many people's realities, this is a necessity. I didn't mean to diminish yours or anyone else's problems or approach by writing that, and if it came across as that, I'm sorry.

    Conceptually, the demands of hiding [insert things that feel bad] is a cause for a lot of these issues, and a cause for a lot of these initiatives. Outliers exist, because of cultural differences and whatnot, and the way you're wording it is probably a lot more solid than how I did, but catering to each individual with these general guidelines is really hard, and I think a lot of these discussions are founded in the fact that it's not doable. I'm trying here to find the common denominator for.. as many as possible to feel included or at least not feel hurt or offended by this attempt. this sentence that you wrote, for example, is echoing what part of all this is about for me, that

    Yeah, we shouldn't feel unable to do the latter when we need to.
    I think outliers exist is the misconception here.

    Whether it's a misconception on the part of the people trying to provide support or the people seeking it or both is hard to say.

    We all want to avoid that moment where we could have made a difference and didn't. We want to let people who are all bottled up inside feel enabled to be heard and understood and appreciated. So so much of mental health awareness focuses on reaching out a hand to try to catch people in their most volatile moments.

    That's not a bad thing in itself at all, but I think the sense that society is so singularly focused there causes some collateral damage.

    Because most people who suffer mental health issues aren't at the brink. Most can find some sort of outlet when they need it. But we still have to live with it, and my sense of where public awareness is heavily lacking is understanding that longer term process of getting by.

    Like, there's not going to be a day in my life that I don't wake up thinking about years of domestic abuse or about how I could have prevented my uncle's suicide if I hadn't been withdrawn into my own abusive situation when it happened. The goal is to get over it by the time I'm out of the shower so I can go on living without all that baggage pulling me down, and I have to believe that the majority of people who struggle with these sort of issues have to tackle the same thing. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, "manning up", whatever you want to call it--it's not an outlier or an option. It's a necessity for day to day function. It's what we have to do every single day that we aren't falling inward to the point of needing an outlet.

    A banner at the top of my screen reminding me of it every time I seek distraction makes that very difficult. Being constantly reminded that I should share my stories makes that very difficult. I can totally relate to FTF's sense of dread upon seeing this event pop up.

    But that doesn't mean I'm against spreading mental health awareness. I think it's important. I just... don't know how to do it without exacerbating the problems.

    I think informality is probably very important. I've dealt with formalized support systems and associate any semblance of formality with their systemic abject failure. The system is excruciating. Anything you say about anyone else is hearsay. Anything you say about yourself can be used against you. Everyone you speak to is jaded from hearing a thousand other stories like yours and will give you policy answers while passing the buck. Every time you reach out you risk a high chance of people who are hurting you finding out that you're seeking help in exchange for a near zero chance of actually receiving it, but you do it anyway because you're desperate. The formal support system is its own source of dread for anyone who has had cause to use it. My issues are more legal-heavy, but I've heard dozens of similar accounts from people reaching out for support on issues that don't involve others.

    I do want people to be aware of mental health. I'm glad this event exists as a platform. I think its presentation speaks both to a persistent widespread misunderstanding and to the fear and distrust of formal support itself for many people who have pursued it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Panther
    I thought you were a nerd last week but then I saw you say you play golf and remember you said you chewed so you're some kind of unicorn or something

  28. ISO #128
    Special Agent tbh Boquise's Avatar
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    Yeah I want to say, personally I only felt and feel dread when I see the banner. I understand the point and intentions behind it though.
    Reeee-ing into the void and flailing around like a magikarp since 2013

  29. ISO #129
    hope you guys are aware the banner disappears indefinitely, not just temporarily, if you press the "(hide this banner)" link underneath it
    Last edited by fluffy rabbit; Today at 03:26 PM.

  30. ISO #130
    Special Agent tbh Boquise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fluffy rabbit (#129)
    hope you guys are aware the banner disappears indefinitely, not just temporarily, if you press the "(hide this banner)" link underneath it
    Nope I did not know that. Then it ain't a problem tbh, thanks for the heads-up!

    now i feel blind lol smh
    Last edited by Boquise; Today at 05:15 PM.
    Reeee-ing into the void and flailing around like a magikarp since 2013

  31. ISO #131
    1610 roro__b's Avatar Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shad (#127)
    Quote Originally Posted by roro__b (#100)
    Quote Originally Posted by Shad (#99)
    Quote Originally Posted by MUental Health Awareness (#14)
    And at least some might realise that "manning up" maybe should be left somewhere in the past, and that, talking about "feelings" or other mental health issues maybe should be just as normalised as telling someone you are anemic, or diabetic? Some that maybe didn't do this before?
    I wrote a really long post today that I won't be sharing with anyone but my trash bin, but this is kind of gross.

    I feel like everyone's problems can be fixed if they just follow The Solution™ is wokeland's equivalent to boomer demands to "man up".

    I'm happy for the x% of people who benefit from buddy systems and public storytelling and #metooing. I really am.

    A lot of us aren't that lucky, and slapping ourselves out of stupors is a vastly more functional solution than breaking down into a self-pity session every time something gets triggered. Yeah, we shouldn't feel unable to do the latter when we need to. The people here who've suffered my rants know who they are, and I'm eternally grateful that they tolerated me through an especially rough time. But I wouldn't be able to hold a job if I wallowed in that state 24/7. I sometimes feel like modern society encourages people to be broken for the sake of having something to fix.

    You don't have to be tone-deaf to other people's needs to encourage exercises in self-motivation. You don't have to abandon empathy to develop willpower. I always feel like I'm backed into this corner where my issues don't count because I take a tough it out approach to them but if I didn't take a tough it out approach to them I'd never be able to crawl out of bed in the morning, and being constantly reminded that I'm doing it wrong is so $%#!ing tilting.
    Thanks for this Shad. I don't know if it's any excuse or help, but I come from a similar background, and part of the manning up culture and keep it together is what made me break down, several of the times, and I see it on the daily through work. I realise that in many people's realities, this is a necessity. I didn't mean to diminish yours or anyone else's problems or approach by writing that, and if it came across as that, I'm sorry.

    Conceptually, the demands of hiding [insert things that feel bad] is a cause for a lot of these issues, and a cause for a lot of these initiatives. Outliers exist, because of cultural differences and whatnot, and the way you're wording it is probably a lot more solid than how I did, but catering to each individual with these general guidelines is really hard, and I think a lot of these discussions are founded in the fact that it's not doable. I'm trying here to find the common denominator for.. as many as possible to feel included or at least not feel hurt or offended by this attempt. this sentence that you wrote, for example, is echoing what part of all this is about for me, that

    Yeah, we shouldn't feel unable to do the latter when we need to.
    I think outliers exist is the misconception here.

    Whether it's a misconception on the part of the people trying to provide support or the people seeking it or both is hard to say.

    We all want to avoid that moment where we could have made a difference and didn't. We want to let people who are all bottled up inside feel enabled to be heard and understood and appreciated. So so much of mental health awareness focuses on reaching out a hand to try to catch people in their most volatile moments.

    That's not a bad thing in itself at all, but I think the sense that society is so singularly focused there causes some collateral damage.

    Because most people who suffer mental health issues aren't at the brink. Most can find some sort of outlet when they need it. But we still have to live with it, and my sense of where public awareness is heavily lacking is understanding that longer term process of getting by.

    Like, there's not going to be a day in my life that I don't wake up thinking about years of domestic abuse or about how I could have prevented my uncle's suicide if I hadn't been withdrawn into my own abusive situation when it happened. The goal is to get over it by the time I'm out of the shower so I can go on living without all that baggage pulling me down, and I have to believe that the majority of people who struggle with these sort of issues have to tackle the same thing. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, "manning up", whatever you want to call it--it's not an outlier or an option. It's a necessity for day to day function. It's what we have to do every single day that we aren't falling inward to the point of needing an outlet.

    A banner at the top of my screen reminding me of it every time I seek distraction makes that very difficult. Being constantly reminded that I should share my stories makes that very difficult. I can totally relate to FTF's sense of dread upon seeing this event pop up.

    But that doesn't mean I'm against spreading mental health awareness. I think it's important. I just... don't know how to do it without exacerbating the problems.

    I think informality is probably very important. I've dealt with formalized support systems and associate any semblance of formality with their systemic abject failure. The system is excruciating. Anything you say about anyone else is hearsay. Anything you say about yourself can be used against you. Everyone you speak to is jaded from hearing a thousand other stories like yours and will give you policy answers while passing the buck. Every time you reach out you risk a high chance of people who are hurting you finding out that you're seeking help in exchange for a near zero chance of actually receiving it, but you do it anyway because you're desperate. The formal support system is its own source of dread for anyone who has had cause to use it. My issues are more legal-heavy, but I've heard dozens of similar accounts from people reaching out for support on issues that don't involve others.

    I do want people to be aware of mental health. I'm glad this event exists as a platform. I think its presentation speaks both to a persistent widespread misunderstanding and to the fear and distrust of formal support itself for many people who have pursued it.
    I agree with you in most of this Shad, but I don't this it's limited to what you are describing. It's a big part of it, but specifically depends on where in your life you are imo.

    The hopes were that we don't exacerbate the problems by putting up a banner, by having it removable permanently with one click, but still having it there for visibility. When it comes to informality I seriously think that it comes down to personal preference. I described it a little before, but for some people, peeling off that layer where you have to invest/engage yourself to participate makes it easier. We've tried taking steps towards a middle-ground however, and the user-led threads have been a huge improvement to the cause for sure!!
    1610

  32. ISO #132
    1610 roro__b's Avatar Moderator
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    1610

  33. ISO #133
    alien shapeshifter Hally's Avatar Moderator
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    thanks for sharing, you’re awesome
    Quote Originally Posted by litten
    hally you have a Wowee addicfion
    Quote Originally Posted by quas
    Name the wowee dog hally
    Quote Originally Posted by staypositivefriend (#19)
    tfw i cant mindmeld with hally this game
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#15)
    hi im hally
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#26)
    im a big nerd something something gravity falls
    Quote Originally Posted by ran
    How To Tell If Your Hally Is An Alien Shapeshifter:
    - Apply moderate but steady pressure d1 and observe their reaction.
    - If your Hally is genuine, you will notice a distinct morphing of their facial features into an "anime" or "chibi" style resembling the kaomoji (〃>_<;〃), their arms will turn into fingerless drumsticks and begin rapidly vibrating up and down, and they will emit various phrases such as "no bulli!" and "give me space!" and "but why!"
    - On the other hand, if your Hally remains in a photorealistic human form and responds calmly with phrases like "That's unfortunate, but I hope we can work together!" and changes the subject, you have an alien shapeshifter on your hands and should quickly excuse yourself and break the glass on the nearest eod flamethrower.
    Quote Originally Posted by lute (#50)
    182. Bellossom



    Bellossom, Bubbles, and @Hally. doing a little flower dance. travel agent who doesn't work on commission. knows she's pretty but loves being reminded. tries to maintain a vegetable garden but isn't very good at it.

    A-Tier.
    Quote Originally Posted by jump
    dear professor

    i need an extension on this assignment if thats ok thank you so much or i can send you what i have already idk

    kind regards
    hally
    Quote Originally Posted by Ace Marvel (#375)
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#348)
    ##Vote Hally

    insert image of hally's profile picture inside of an ice cube saying "hi I'm hally", indicating that hally is "frozen" by being stuck in ice in the image, and also "frozen" in the sense of the game in that they are struggling to or afraid to post content.
    like this?
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#673)


    katze made this, now hally has 2 talk to me
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#4059)

  34. ISO #134
    GOAT Tier JohnCarter's Avatar
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    As someone who has worked in MH, I see a few things.

    A) Those who made it are clearly trying to do the 'right' thing and promote awareness. Haven't read all the posts throughout, though I have no doubt they are being receptive to feedback, too.

    B) The target, those who could afford to learn more about mental health and being aware of their language, will probably not take notice of the actual meaning behind it, because it lacks specificity to them and their circumstances, and they don't come to play mafia to learn about these things. TL;DR they have no need to look into this.

    C) The topic, those who may have/may/are struggling with mental health, don't come here for this. They either want to engage in discussions about that elsewhere, privately, in real life, or will discuss with a larger group on here of their own volition. And that is if they want to even discuss it. Many won't and that is their choice. I guess i'm just concerned that people's escape option NOW serves as a reminder of things that may be going on in their life elsewhere. TL;DR, you have just taken away people's option to escape from things that they appraise to be negatively impacting their life.

    I think the detriment of C) outweighs any 'awareness' that would be gained, particularly because I think an untargeted banner would gain little awareness.

    IMO the banner should be removed, and in the future, perhaps an announcement would suffice.


    EDIT: Would like to add that the banner by default appears and therefore a remove option is entirely irrelevant to my concerns in C.
    Last edited by JohnCarter; Today at 06:39 PM.

  35. ISO #135
    alien shapeshifter Hally's Avatar Moderator
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    just to reiterate, we have a mental health channel on the MU discord now where people can talk about their mental health and support each other (or just hang out). it’s really nice!

    if that sounds like something you’d benefit from, message @dyachei (dyachei#0333) to get access!
    Quote Originally Posted by litten
    hally you have a Wowee addicfion
    Quote Originally Posted by quas
    Name the wowee dog hally
    Quote Originally Posted by staypositivefriend (#19)
    tfw i cant mindmeld with hally this game
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#15)
    hi im hally
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#26)
    im a big nerd something something gravity falls
    Quote Originally Posted by ran
    How To Tell If Your Hally Is An Alien Shapeshifter:
    - Apply moderate but steady pressure d1 and observe their reaction.
    - If your Hally is genuine, you will notice a distinct morphing of their facial features into an "anime" or "chibi" style resembling the kaomoji (〃>_<;〃), their arms will turn into fingerless drumsticks and begin rapidly vibrating up and down, and they will emit various phrases such as "no bulli!" and "give me space!" and "but why!"
    - On the other hand, if your Hally remains in a photorealistic human form and responds calmly with phrases like "That's unfortunate, but I hope we can work together!" and changes the subject, you have an alien shapeshifter on your hands and should quickly excuse yourself and break the glass on the nearest eod flamethrower.
    Quote Originally Posted by lute (#50)
    182. Bellossom



    Bellossom, Bubbles, and @Hally. doing a little flower dance. travel agent who doesn't work on commission. knows she's pretty but loves being reminded. tries to maintain a vegetable garden but isn't very good at it.

    A-Tier.
    Quote Originally Posted by jump
    dear professor

    i need an extension on this assignment if thats ok thank you so much or i can send you what i have already idk

    kind regards
    hally
    Quote Originally Posted by Ace Marvel (#375)
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#348)
    ##Vote Hally

    insert image of hally's profile picture inside of an ice cube saying "hi I'm hally", indicating that hally is "frozen" by being stuck in ice in the image, and also "frozen" in the sense of the game in that they are struggling to or afraid to post content.
    like this?
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#673)


    katze made this, now hally has 2 talk to me
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshal (#4059)

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