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Thread: Zack's Thunderously Cromulent Walrus

  1. ISO #1

    Zack's Thunderously Cromulent Walrus



    This is a walrus. Below are the categories. Your mission: for each category, find a song you think I would like that fits the established parameters of the category, then send your list of songs to me via PM. I prefer YouTube links, but Bandcamp or Soundcloud are also acceptable; please use links with good audio quality. I'll rank the songs in each category, and reveal the ratings and songs one category at a time. You will then complain and/or celebrate as appropriate.

    The deadline to submit to this walrus is whenever I first log in to MU on August 13th. Reveal will start sometime after that. No promises on the speed of reveals, but I do promise to fully reveal everything eventually - I've run lots of walrii and never left anything unrevealed.

    No alt subs other than Moose, he's grandfathered in.



    My Taste:

    I've hosted a few walrii, reviewed some albums in various places on the site, and subbed to a lot of walrii. I doubt any of you care enough to check, and I don't care enough to link them, but it's out there if you want to go balls deep in research. If you want a good mouthfeel for my taste in music, listen to the example songs.

    Here's a quick rundown of my tastes by genre (if it looks made up or you don't recognize it, google "[genre name] rym" and read the description from rateyourmusic).

    Low-hanging fruit: indie folk, indie pop, synthpop, indie rock


    Not quite as low-hanging: hip-hop, art pop, art rock, dream pop, pop punk, alt rock, folk punk


    Go for it: pop, punk, post-punk, chamber pop, r&b, alt-country, synthwave, experimental rock/hip-hop/whatever, noise rock, freak folk


    Somewhat risky: psychedelic pop/rock, math rock, edm/dubstep, post-rock, alt-country, shoegaze


    Seriously, don't bother: metal, pop country, ambient, prog rock, classical, anything resembling pentatonix

    I would STRONGLY ADVISE you not to send anything from "Seriously, don't bother" (hence the name). I might enjoy the occasional song from those genres, but it's rare. Tread lightly.

    By all means, send low-hanging fruit, but it's no guarantee for doing well.

    In general, I prefer shorter songs. I do enjoy some longer songs, but that's a riskier path.

    I'm not going to bother with a ban list - hard to know where to draw the line for a lot of artists - but if you're familiar with my taste please don't send obvious $%#! like Sufjan* or Everything Everything. I may give a small bonus for songs/artists I'm less familiar with. Feel free to ask me if I already know something you're considering sending, I have blind spots even in bands I've listened to a good amount. Or just YOLO it, that works too.



    The Categories:

    If you're lost, try listening to some of the examples, or send whatever the category makes you think of - don't overthink it or fret too much. These are more prompts than strict requirements, though still try to send something in the spirit of the category obviously.

    1. recency bias

    Send me something you've been listening to a lot recently (actual release date irrelevant).

    Surf Curse - Freaks
    Vince Staples - ARE YOU WITH THAT?
    Iron & Wine - This Solemn Day
    Blood Cultures - Set it on Fire


    2. muh nostalgia

    Hit me with a track you really like but don't listen to much anymore, for whatever reason.

    Youth Lagoon - Cannons
    Vagabon - Cold Apartment
    ScHoolboy Q - Groovy Tony
    Vampire Weekend - Unbelievers



    3. i feel god in this chili's tonight

    A song that takes you to a higher plane of existence. A song to sit back, close your eyes, and listen to with your full attention. A song you probably wouldn't listen to at the gym or while pwning 8 year-olds in Fortnite. This is something more specific than simply "a song you love," but also something more vague. If you want to risk a post-rock or tangy-core sub, this is the place (naïve melody) to do it.

    Keywords to shoot for: introspective, meaningful, downtempo, existential, thunderously calm

    Radiohead - Motion Picture Soundtrack
    Everything Everything - In Birdsong
    Bon Iver - Holocene
    Duster - Inside Out


    4. aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

    A song that's 2 minutes 30 seconds or shorter. :30 good, :31 bad.

    AJJ - Brave as a Noun
    Beach Bunny - Cloud 9
    Mitski - Washing Machine Heart
    Common - Be (Intro)


    5. here he comes. here comes john wayne. 'i'm not gonna cry about my pa. i'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it.' why, michael? so you can fly away from your feelings? you can keep them bottled up, michael, but they will come out. sometimes in the most unexpected...

    [opens refrigerator and looks inside]

    hey! where the f--k are my hard-boiled eggs?!


    A category for the unexpected. This could be a song that caught you off guard, a song that has an unexpected change or twist in it, a song people would be surprised to see you submit, or a song that's just some weird $%#!.

    Kendrick Lamar - XXX [a song that has an unexpected change or twist in it]
    Aphex Twin - Stone in Focus [a song people didn't expect me to like]
    Eminem as a Talking Heads song [caught me off guard / weird $%#!]


    6. a song that would be inappropriate at a funeral

    Should be self-explanatory. Please send a song that's still good on its own merit - the ideal sub is hilariously out of place in the context of a somber, emotional funeral while still being a great song. An mp3 of someone crying and pooping over a drum loop would be inappropriate at a funeral but a poor choice for the category.

    Neutral Milk Hotel - Communist Daughter (the lyrics)
    100 gecs - stupid horse (it's 100 gecs)
    Kanye West - Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1 (mostly for the bleached asshole joke)


    bonus. a song by sufjan stevens

    This category is optional after how much blowback Shad got for his Radiohead category. Send me a song by Sufjan Stevens, and your score in this category will replace your lowest score in the first six categories (unless it is your worst score lmao). If you want to sub but don't know Sufjan, feel free to do some light research or just pick a song completely at random, here are a couple good resources:

    1. https://rateyourmusic.com/artist/sufjan-stevens (you can look through his discography and/or randomly pick a random song from a random album in 10 seconds if you want)

    2. https://www.reddit.com/r/indieheads/...ens_songs_2021 (this is different from my opinion but it's more or less the general consensus)

    I'll rank the songs based on my personal enjoyment at the time of listening, so it's possible a song I love but have listened to a million times might not do as well as you might think. There is also an important caveat - if you send the same song as someone else, you're automatically ranked behind people who were the only person to send their song, even if you sent an awesome song and they sent One Last "Whoo-Hoo!" for the Pullman. Three people who send the same song are ranked behind two people who send the same song, and so on. And before you think you're oh so clever, live versions aren't a loophole to get around this. (Though you can send live versions if you really want.)

    Hopefully this is less stupid than you think it is.




    Subbed:

    1. Frog
    2. shubaka17
    3. Bloobird
    4. Kane
    5. lendunistus
    6. Egix96
    7. Shad
    8. KarmaDope
    9. nutella
    10. Visorslash
    11. roro__b
    12. MyNameIsNothing
    13. remember
    14. Owner of a Lonely Heart
    15. PunchyTheCat
    16. Sunbae
    17. Viggorous
    18. staypositivefriend
    19. gbsfranca
    20. Hally
    21. Adam
    22. LordQuas
    23. Newcomb
    24. Moose
    25. Ampharos
    26. Roman
    27. Otter
    28. Wisdom
    29. Keldeo
    30. Manasi
    31. Cuthalion
    Last edited by Zack; August 14th, 2021 at 02:00 AM.

  2. ISO #2
    scary pink lady staypositivefriend's Avatar Moderator
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    will sub

  3. ISO #3
    gonna try to do this

  4. ISO #4
    Quote Originally Posted by bloop (#3)
    gonna try to do this
    this is hally btw

  5. ISO #5
    Low Hanging Fruit LordQuas's Avatar Game Manager
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    new zack walrus hype

    /in for sure
    :wiwe

  6. ISO #6
    JAMES MCCLOWN Frog's Avatar
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    I am officially in first place

  7. ISO #7
    1610 roro__b's Avatar Moderator
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    spf told me to sub pentatonix, brb subbing pentatonix
    1610

  8. ISO #8
    Soul Reader Egix96's Avatar
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    Planning to sub.

  9. ISO #9
    Thread Analyst Bloobird's Avatar
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    Will in

  10. ISO #10
    Thread Analyst Bloobird's Avatar
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    spent like twice as long choosing between my favourite 20 sufjan tracks than I did picking songs for every other category combined

  11. ISO #11
    Ill sub in a couple of weeks

  12. ISO #12
    I make poor decisions when drunk Viggorous's Avatar
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    I'll be thereeee
    Quote Originally Posted by DoubtingThomas (#1916)
    u are the imbecile for wanting to lynch me after that d1

    just please never call yourself
    VIGGOAT or whatever that $%#! you say

    cuz it's really not true not at all after your recent performances and you must feel it

    or are you just spite killing me like you did RC?

  13. ISO #13
    Infracted gbsfranca's Avatar
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    the way you write the plural of walrus is disgusting

    but /in

    please ping me on discord in case dl is approaching
    Quote Originally Posted by Quick (#719)
    ISO him. He looks good to me. I don't want to see him lynched. Yeah, he had a troll post here and there, but he's playing pretty townie. I don't expect a 14 year old to troll like that as scum anyways.
    Quote Originally Posted by dyachei (#734)
    gbs is not out of either range. the $%#!posting is basically how he lives his life.

  14. ISO #14
    Wants It More Adam's Avatar
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    anon or no?

  15. ISO #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Adam (#14)
    anon or no?
    nah, send links however you want (though including the category numbers is appreciated just to make sure i don't mix anything up)

  16. ISO #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Godot (#10)
    spent like twice as long choosing between my favourite 20 sufjan tracks than I did picking songs for every other category combined

  17. ISO #17
    Infracted gbsfranca's Avatar
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    $%#! i just noticed the talking heads ref

    Basé
    Quote Originally Posted by Quick (#719)
    ISO him. He looks good to me. I don't want to see him lynched. Yeah, he had a troll post here and there, but he's playing pretty townie. I don't expect a 14 year old to troll like that as scum anyways.
    Quote Originally Posted by dyachei (#734)
    gbs is not out of either range. the $%#!posting is basically how he lives his life.

  18. ISO #18
    Low Hanging Fruit

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    You know what, screw it, gonna in.

    Now I just have to find 6 songs I like that aren't metal. This could be a lot harder than I think depending on your definition of metal...

    ETA: Writeups of why chosen - yes or no?
    Last edited by KarmaDope; July 27th, 2021 at 05:56 AM.

  19. ISO #19
    Soul Reader lendunistus's Avatar
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    subbed
    Quote Originally Posted by Angrypotato (#747)
    Quote Originally Posted by Angrypotato (#408)
    Quote Originally Posted by Everyone
    ##Vote lendunistus
    Going to bed soon , but this is a very $%#!ty vote


    currently on indefinite mafia hiatus

  20. ISO #20
    Low Hanging Fruit LordQuas's Avatar Game Manager
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  21. ISO #21
    @staypositivefriend
    @Hally
    @LordQuas
    @ladd
    @Viggorous
    @gbsfranca
    @Adam
    @Newcomb
    @Manasi
    @Empoof
    @jonnyd
    @Owner
    @Sunbae
    @iaafr
    @BLOODYRAIN10001
    @Roman
    @Ampharos
    @Keldeo
    @Tangrowth

    and anyone else who would like to sub (sorry if I did not tag you, went off people who had explicitly expressed interest + random names off the top of my head)

    This is the last week to enter a submission! Deadline is 2 PM edt on Friday, August 13.

    glgl


  22. ISO #22
    Loansharking blot test Newcomb's Avatar Head Moderator
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    I'll sub in the next few days

  23. ISO #23
    spec chat hero iaafr's Avatar
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    holy $%#! easy cats

  24. ISO #24
    Nice categories!
    I
    Could
    Not
    Wait
    Too
    Be
    Your
    Friend
    Family

  25. ISO #25
    Ill try to sub the 13th

  26. ISO #26
    last day!

  27. ISO #27
    Low Hanging Fruit LordQuas's Avatar Game Manager
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    straight up i might be vying with Moose for last this time around
    :wiwe

  28. ISO #28
    subs are closed, I may accept late subs if they are quick

    going to start listening to stuff now though. first reveal will not be until after shad week at the absolute earliest, and possibly not until September.

    Subbed:

    1. Frog
    2. shubaka17
    3. Bloobird
    4. Kane
    5. lendunistus
    6. Egix96
    7. Shad
    8. KarmaDope
    9. nutella
    10. Visorslash
    11. roro__b
    12. MyNameIsNothing
    13. remember
    14. Owner of a Lonely Heart
    15. PunchyTheCat
    16. Sunbae
    17. Viggorous
    18. staypositivefriend
    19. gbsfranca
    20. Hally
    21. Adam
    22. LordQuas
    23. Newcomb
    24. Moose
    25. Ampharos
    26. Roman
    27. Otter
    28. Wisdom
    29. Keldeo
    30. Manasi
    31. Cuthalion
    Last edited by Zack; August 14th, 2021 at 02:01 AM.

  29. ISO #29
    Galaxy Brain Champ's Avatar
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    31 submissions rip zack

  30. ISO #30
    WIM Plus 7 Tangrowth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zack (#21)
    @staypositivefriend
    @Hally
    @LordQuas
    @ladd
    @Viggorous
    @gbsfranca
    @Adam
    @Newcomb
    @Manasi
    @Empoof
    @jonnyd
    @Owner
    @Sunbae
    @iaafr
    @BLOODYRAIN10001
    @Roman
    @Ampharos
    @Keldeo
    @Tangrowth

    and anyone else who would like to sub (sorry if I did not tag you, went off people who had explicitly expressed interest + random names off the top of my head)

    This is the last week to enter a submission! Deadline is 2 PM edt on Friday, August 13.

    glgl

    :shifty:

    Thanks for thinking of me! Obviously too late now. One of these days maybe I'll actually get to sub to you huh.

  31. ISO #31
    planning to reveal first category tomorrow night (august 29th) at 8 pm us eastern time

    I'll @ people a few hours before in here, and a few minutes before in discord

    glgl

  32. ISO #32
    oh, regarding scoring

    I decided to keep it simple, it's just based on category placement. 1 point for 1st, 2 for 2nd, etc. Obviously lower point totals are better.

    I'll also include a numerical score with most/all songs, but keep in mind it does not affect scoring in any way.

  33. ISO #33

  34. ISO #34
    WIM Plus 7 Tangrowth's Avatar
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    Good luck, everyone!

  35. ISO #35
    the first reveal :O
    1. recency bias

    Send me something you've been listening to a lot recently (actual release date irrelevant).

    Surf Curse - Freaks
    Vince Staples - ARE YOU WITH THAT?
    Iron & Wine - This Solemn Day
    Blood Cultures - Set it on Fire

  36. ISO #36
    31. Moose

    Bad Apple Bottom Jeans


    I like the weeb part more than Flo Rida's part. Why is this meme song so long? Alright we get the joke, let's move on with our lives. Giving Moose's big booty a slap down to last.

    4 / 10

  37. ISO #37
    30. lendunistus

    Persona 3 OST - Mass Destruction


    The rapping does not work for me whatsoever, and the rest of it is like … shrug, whatever. Persona soundtracks tend to be better than most from what little I've heard, but this was a miss.

    4.5 / 10

  38. ISO #38
    29. Egix96

    Daft Punk - High Fidelity


    My exposure to Daft Punk outside of Discovery and RAM is close to nonexistent. I found this extremely repetitive, overlong and not particularly interesting. This song goes on for-$%#!ing-ever.

    4.5 / 10

  39. ISO #39
    28. Visorslash

    LEGO Rock Raiders - Track 4


    A classic "song that works fine in the background of a video game but is dull on its own" sub. Beats Daft Punk because it's two minutes shorter, mostly.

    4.5 / 10
    Last edited by Zack; August 29th, 2021 at 08:09 PM.

  40. ISO #40
    27. Frog

    Prompto - Ed Edd n Eddy


    Fine beat, passable rapping, subpar lyrics. Ends abruptly. idk what's the deal with the anime yell at the beginning. Most songs grow on me with repeated listens, this did the opposite. First listen I was like hey this is surprisingly alright, now I seem to like it less with each subsequent listen.

    5.5 / 10

  41. ISO #41
    26. shubaka17

    Dylan Gardner - Spotlight


    fine, forgettable

    5.5 / 10

  42. ISO #42
    25. Otter

    All Star but it's Death Metal


    This is pretty bad but it's so $%#!ing funny that it elevates itself.

    5.5 / 10

  43. ISO #43
    24. Wisdom

    Kanon Wakeshima - killy killy JOKER


    I have no real idea how to score this or what comment to write. I don't know why it was sent to me.

    6 / 10

  44. ISO #44
    23. Cuthalion

    Jacob Collier - Time To Rest Your Weary Head


    Songs like this walk a fine line between "calm, meditative" and "dull" and this landed somewhere in between.

    6.5 / 10

  45. ISO #45
    22. Owner

    Ancient Astronauts - I Came Running


    This is a nice track, but slower mostly-instrumental tracks aren't really my thing; there's a limit to how much I can truly enjoy something like this (though I do appreciate the soothing nature of the song). I'll admit I giggle a bit when she sings with a forlorn voice, "I came..." and either doesn't say running or it's barely audible.

    6.5 / 10

  46. ISO #46
    21. remember

    EVABOY - KNO YOURSELF


    This made me think of when Newcomb had a walrus with a random Drake covers category. Chipmunk Drake isn't as annoying as I would have thought... and yet, when you sub a remix of a Drake song that makes him sound like a chipmunk, you are putting a ceiling on high you can climb in the rankings.

    6.6 / 10

  47. ISO #47
    20. MyNameIsNothing

    Condry Ziqubu - Gorilla Man


    This song is just barely charming enough for me to stomach the excessive runtime. Congratulations.



    6.7 / 10

  48. ISO #48
    19. KarmaDope

    EPICA - The Funky Algorithm


    For all the talk of funk and booty-shaking, this doesn't feel like much of a dance groove to me. Still a fine song, despite some corny $%#! lyrics.

    6.8 / 10

  49. ISO #49
    18. Manasi

    Jessie Ware - Read My Lips


    ~Solid but repetitive and goes on too long. This feels like album filler. This song is about trying to finalize a trade in fantasy football, right?

    6.8 / 10

  50. ISO #50
    17. Adam

    Lana Del Rey - Yosemite


    A bit too long and sparse for my taste, but it did grow on me a bit. She has a great voice.

    6.9 / 10

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