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Thread: Music By The Numbers: HK Walrus 2

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    GOAT Tier hollowkatt's Avatar
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    Music By The Numbers: HK Walrus 2

    HK walrus 2: The Numbering

    Reverse Categories this time b/c we're doing a countdown!

    Rules and Things:

    1. There are no banned artists. Go wild you crazy animals.

    2. Scoring is arbitrary at best and capriciously cruel at worst. Sorry not sorry

    3. But HK you ask, when is the submission deadline? February 28

    4. When will reveals be, and where? Syndicate Walrus at 4pm Eastern on Sundays starting 6 March 2022

    5. How do I submit my songs? Via DM here OR DM on discord: hollowkatt#5122

    6. Does it matter if I submit links or what? I'm not doing this blind. Sub your songs how you want to!

    7. How many victims I mean People can sub? I don't really care. If I get a truck-load I'll just skip low scoring songs after the first couple of minutes.

    And now, onto the show!
    Categories:

    10: Lets Get Grungy!

    We all know Pearl Jam and we all know that 10 is one of their best records. So lets embrace the spirit of Seattle and play some crunchy grungy stuff!
    To qualify for this category your song will be from the grunge genre. If you're not sure whether or not your chosen song is grungy enough the wiki page for the band you want to submit probably will tell you. You might be asking yourself "Self, what about bands like Janes Addiction, Porno for Pyros, stuff like that? No, not Grunge. When I do a 90's Alternative category then sure, they'll qualify. But for now? No, not Grunge.

    Is Grunge: Smells Like Teen Spirit

    Is Not Grunge: Been Caught Stealing


    Apollo 9:

    Synth Pop was a mainstay of the 80's and 90's and Adam Ant was one of the best of all time. To qualify for this category I want your poppiest pop song. Is rock pop? That's a chance you'll have to take. I have a vision for the category that can't be put into words, just music. So for your example songs here's Apollo 9 from Adam Ant and Pure from the Lightning Seeds

    Apollo 9

    Pure


    OU812: Arena Rock!

    Van Halen were infamous for Arena Rock bangers, amazing guitar work, and some of the coolest songs of all time. To qualify your song should be from a band known for "Big Hair, Big Voices, Big Guitars". Some examples are bands like REO Speedwagon, Forigner, Queen, Journey, Eagles, Night Ranger, Toto, etc., etc. If you are unsure if your song is arena rock I'll let you know when you've submitted.

    Dance the Night Away - Van Halen


    Seven Bridges Road:

    This category is all about vocal harmonies. The example song is the song named in the category title: 7 Bridges Road from The Eagles. To qualify your song needs to have great harmonies throughout the song or some amount of spectacular harmonies in a good chunk of it. Genre doesn't matter here, it's all about how well the singers vocalize with each other.

    Seven Bridges Road


    Sixth Avenue Heartache:

    This category is all about mellow alternative music. I'm not looking for industrial, or grunge, or punk, or anything like that. I'm looking for songs like the catgory title. So Counting Crows, Wallflowers, REM, They Might Be Giants, bands previously subbed by nutella, you know the drill.
    ps: luff you nutella!

    Nitemare Hippy Girl


    5 Minutes To Live:


    Yes, HK has a country category in a walrus, what the $%#! is happening?!?!? Except this isn't "Country", this is Outlaw Country. So Cash, Jennings, Nelson, Haggard, Robbins. Those kinds of guys. The All Time Greats. If you wanna sneak in something from the 50's-60's (Williams, the OG) I probably won't complain. What gets you failed is "Pop Country" or literally anything that is currently getting airplay.

    Are you Sure Hank Done It This Way - Waylan Jennings


    I'm a Slave 4 U:

    What's this? A Brittney song? Back to back weirdness from HK? Yes! This category is all about what I'd call "manufactured pop". Brittney, Cristina, Backstreet Boys, Mandy, the list goes on and on. To qualify your song must be from that saccharine dance pop genre that permeated the airwaves from the late 90's all the way through the mid 2000's (and beyond tbh).

    Lucky - Britney Spears


    Three Card Trick:

    All Punk All The Time. To qualify for this category your song MUST be punk rock. Punk is a time honored DIY tradition of sticking it to The Man. Punk can be anything from Sex Pistols to Patti Smith to the Ramones, to Proto-Punk like MC5 and even Velvet Underground. Punk is more DIY music than anything else. If you're not sure that your song is Punk As $%#! ask, I'll let you know.

    New Rose - The Damned


    Song 2:

    Hey, remember when I snarked at you in category 10? HERE'S WHERE THOSE BANDS GO. Janes Addiction, Porno for Pyros, Blur, Oasis, Psychefunkapus, Soul Asylum, Rancid, Jesus and Mary Chain, Verucal Salt, and so on and so forth. This is where those bands who aren't mellow alternative and aren't grunge but still aren't mainstream pop and/or rock go. Hit me with your best 90's alternative. Note: if your song is from a band predominantly known for grunge it's a cat fail, sub that to cat 10.

    Good - Better than Ezra


    One: The Metal!

    One is one of the best metal songs ever written. To qualify for this category your song MUST be Metal. Not Hard Rock, Not Arena Rock, Not Glam Rock. Metal.

    Things That Are Metal:
    Metallica
    Megadeth
    Led Zeppelin
    Black Sabbath
    Deep Purple
    Venom
    Tiamat
    Bathory

    Things That Are NOT Metal:
    Bon Jovi
    KISS
    Ratt
    Motley Crue
    Warrant
    Guns & Roses
    Jethro Tull
    Jimmy Buffet

    Is Metal: Run For The Hills

    Is Not Metal: Round And Round - Ratt


    Scoring:

    songs will be ranked from 0-10. I'll go down to the second decimal if I need to.

    0: Absolutely hated it. Or you failed the category. This score is reserved for things like "My Heart Will Go On" or other songs that make me wish self-voting worked in real life.

    1-4: Odds are I won't score a song this low. If I do I'll make something up.

    5: Completely average song. I didn't hate it. It wasn't memorable in any way and at the end of the day if I never hear it again I won't be sad about it.

    6: Getting better. 6 score songs are songs I enjoyed listening to they're just not as good as higher scoring songs. These songs are album fillers for bands I enjoy. They're not bad songs, just nothing "great"

    7: A song scoring a 7 is likely a single from a band I think I like but isn't in my top bands. They're good songs, probably got good airplay but at the end of the day they're merely good.

    8: These songs are songs that I'll listen to quite a bit when I remember they exist. They're singles from bands I like, deeper cuts that may speak to me in some way. 8 score songs are really good and sometimes borderline great.

    9: Bangers, rockers, absolute hits. These songs are approaching the best of the best. Some bands never hit this level of song. Here are the songs I'll have on my 100 song iPod Shuffle. If you score a 9 it means you've stumbled on something I'll remember forever, regardless of genre.

    10: The absolute best songs of all time. These are the ones that repeatedly make the list of "if you could only take 10 songs on a deserted island what are they" lists. Transcendental songs, genre defining songs (for genres I like), songs that stay with me literally forever.

    11: This is the best song in the world. This is not a tribute


    Players:
    1. @DoctorZeus
    2, @Raskolnikov
    3. Red
    4. @Bloobird
    Last edited by hollowkatt; January 17th, 2022 at 11:52 AM.

  2. ISO #2
    Wants It More DoctorZeus's Avatar
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    In to fail.

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    Wants It More NANOOKTHECONQUEROR's Avatar
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    The flute is a heavy, metal instrument.

  4. ISO #4
    GOAT Tier hollowkatt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NANOOKTHECONQUEROR (#3)
    The flute is a heavy, metal instrument.
    no

  5. ISO #5
    Connoisseur of Spice nutella's Avatar Discord Moderator
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    genre restricted cats woat

    let me sub things i actually listen to smh

  6. ISO #6
    GOAT Tier hollowkatt's Avatar
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    genre based categories fit the theme that I was going for best

  7. ISO #7
    Soul Reader Raskolnikov's Avatar
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  8. ISO #8
    Penalty Box Syn's Avatar
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    what score would this get for cat one

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtRUG-sFwDg

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    GOAT Tier hollowkatt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Syn (#8)
    what score would this get for cat one

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtRUG-sFwDg
    73 and I would close the walrus because nothing can possibly be better

  10. ISO #10
    Thread Analyst Bloobird's Avatar
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    subbed

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