HK walrus 2: The Numbering
Reverse Categories this time b/c we're doing a countdown!
Rules and Things:
1. There are no banned artists. Go wild you crazy animals.
2. Scoring is arbitrary at best and capriciously cruel at worst. Sorry not sorry
3. But HK you ask, when is the submission deadline? February 28
4. When will reveals be, and where? Syndicate Walrus at 4pm Eastern on Sundays starting 6 March 2022
5. How do I submit my songs? Via DM here OR DM on discord: hollowkatt#5122
6. Does it matter if I submit links or what? I'm not doing this blind. Sub your songs how you want to!
7. How many victims I mean People can sub? I don't really care. If I get a truck-load I'll just skip low scoring songs after the first couple of minutes.
And now, onto the show!
10: Lets Get Grungy!
We all know Pearl Jam and we all know that 10 is one of their best records. So lets embrace the spirit of Seattle and play some crunchy grungy stuff!
To qualify for this category your song will be from the grunge genre. If you're not sure whether or not your chosen song is grungy enough the wiki page for the band you want to submit probably will tell you. You might be asking yourself "Self, what about bands like Janes Addiction, Porno for Pyros, stuff like that? No, not Grunge. When I do a 90's Alternative category then sure, they'll qualify. But for now? No, not Grunge.
Is Grunge: Smells Like Teen Spirit
Is Not Grunge: Been Caught Stealing
Synth Pop was a mainstay of the 80's and 90's and Adam Ant was one of the best of all time. To qualify for this category I want your poppiest pop song. Is rock pop? That's a chance you'll have to take. I have a vision for the category that can't be put into words, just music. So for your example songs here's Apollo 9 from Adam Ant and Pure from the Lightning Seeds
OU812: Arena Rock!
Van Halen were infamous for Arena Rock bangers, amazing guitar work, and some of the coolest songs of all time. To qualify your song should be from a band known for "Big Hair, Big Voices, Big Guitars". Some examples are bands like REO Speedwagon, Forigner, Queen, Journey, Eagles, Night Ranger, Toto, etc., etc. If you are unsure if your song is arena rock I'll let you know when you've submitted.
Dance the Night Away - Van Halen
Seven Bridges Road:
This category is all about vocal harmonies. The example song is the song named in the category title: 7 Bridges Road from The Eagles. To qualify your song needs to have great harmonies throughout the song or some amount of spectacular harmonies in a good chunk of it. Genre doesn't matter here, it's all about how well the singers vocalize with each other.
Seven Bridges Road
Sixth Avenue Heartache:
This category is all about mellow alternative music. I'm not looking for industrial, or grunge, or punk, or anything like that. I'm looking for songs like the catgory title. So Counting Crows, Wallflowers, REM, They Might Be Giants, bands previously subbed by nutella, you know the drill.
ps: luff you nutella!
Nitemare Hippy Girl
5 Minutes To Live:
Yes, HK has a country category in a walrus, what the $%#! is happening?!?!? Except this isn't "Country", this is Outlaw Country. So Cash, Jennings, Nelson, Haggard, Robbins. Those kinds of guys. The All Time Greats. If you wanna sneak in something from the 50's-60's (Williams, the OG) I probably won't complain. What gets you failed is "Pop Country" or literally anything that is currently getting airplay.
Are you Sure Hank Done It This Way - Waylan Jennings
I'm a Slave 4 U:
What's this? A Brittney song? Back to back weirdness from HK? Yes! This category is all about what I'd call "manufactured pop". Brittney, Cristina, Backstreet Boys, Mandy, the list goes on and on. To qualify your song must be from that saccharine dance pop genre that permeated the airwaves from the late 90's all the way through the mid 2000's (and beyond tbh).
Lucky - Britney Spears
Three Card Trick:
All Punk All The Time. To qualify for this category your song MUST be punk rock. Punk is a time honored DIY tradition of sticking it to The Man. Punk can be anything from Sex Pistols to Patti Smith to the Ramones, to Proto-Punk like MC5 and even Velvet Underground. Punk is more DIY music than anything else. If you're not sure that your song is Punk As $%#! ask, I'll let you know.
New Rose - The Damned
Hey, remember when I snarked at you in category 10? HERE'S WHERE THOSE BANDS GO. Janes Addiction, Porno for Pyros, Blur, Oasis, Psychefunkapus, Soul Asylum, Rancid, Jesus and Mary Chain, Verucal Salt, and so on and so forth. This is where those bands who aren't mellow alternative and aren't grunge but still aren't mainstream pop and/or rock go. Hit me with your best 90's alternative. Note: if your song is from a band predominantly known for grunge it's a cat fail, sub that to cat 10.
Good - Better than Ezra
One: The Metal!
One is one of the best metal songs ever written. To qualify for this category your song MUST be Metal. Not Hard Rock, Not Arena Rock, Not Glam Rock. Metal.
Things That Are Metal:
Things That Are NOT Metal:
Guns & Roses
Is Metal: Run For The Hills
Is Not Metal: Round And Round - Ratt